Week one is done!
Don’t forget, each week I’ll give a quick rundown of what I watched and thought of them, usually on Sunday is when I post those. But if you don’t want to wait a week, I’ll also be posting my thoughts in tweet form over at: https://x.com/CPeachfuzz
Strange Darling: I made prediction when putting this on the watch list. I predicted that the one holding the gun wasn’t necessarily the killer, and it could easily be the one the gun was pointed at. I won’t say if I was right or not, but let’s just say if I had money on it, I’d bet enough to buy that Ninja Creami I’ve had my eyes on. This movie was a fun thrill ride. It was shot wonderfully and acted spectacularly. The lead actress, Willa Fitzgerald literally steals the show, which is hard because I went into this solely because it stars Kyle Gallner. Giovanni Ribisi is also the film’s cinematographer and goddamn is this a well shot movie. Used real 35mm film, none of that digital crap. The plot however is a bit too predictable. I pretty much knew everything that was about to happen before it happened. Like a Tarantino movie, the story is told in chapters, but that doesn’t mean those chapters are told in order. It’s basically used as a way to hide the “twist” as long as possible, making you question if what we saw previously isn’t maybe just some really fucked up roleplay. The film does have some really odd moments, however. Some character interactions and dialogue choices to be really damn weird. Biggest WTF moment was the breakfast scene. It is so bizarrely out of place. An old couple just makes their heart stopping breakfast, and we just spend time as it’s made. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but you haven’t seen this breakfast! I give this one a SEE IT!
Last Straw: Only based on the trailer I watched; I was looking forward to seeing this one. Almost as soon as the movie started however, I knew maybe I might not like it as much as I had hoped. The main character is absolutely insufferable. The most unlikable lead character I’ve seen in a long time. To a degree that it made the killer almost sympathetic, wishing he’d live over this awful person we are forced to have as the main character. I was also really put off by the plot, it seemed like it really could have gone a bunch of different ways, but the one they ended on was really disappointing. Our leading lady is just now finding out she’s pregnant, maybe to make her seem more sympathetic, but it really doesn’t have much to do with the story or is ever really brought up much. Honestly, the story I was making up in my head seemed way more interesting. She isn’t sure who the father is, as she has several sexual partners the others don’t know about. What if the twist was, they all banded together to try and scare her but things out of hand, because she’s so awful, she starts killing them, when really, they just wanted to prank her. Yeah, the “prank” part is about the only thing I got right. Didn’t care about the characters, hated the lead, the plot was very unsatisfying I have to give this one a low RENT score.
Salem’s Lot: I have never seen the original, the remake or the sequel, only the Adrien Brody prequel series Chapelwaite, which I thought was fantastic. So, I guess take my opinion on this 2024 remake with a grain of salt, but I loved it. Stephen King sure loves to kill kids. And this movie doesn’t hold back, as the first kill is a tiny child, fed to a vampire. I also love the fact as soon as people start dying, instantly they’re all like yeah this is some vampire shit. The little kid whose friends got turned is a major badass. I’m pretty sure he could have taken on the whole town of vampires all by himself. Great scene where the teacher character is trapped in the basement with the vampire. You see the vampire crush the hanging light bulb in his hand as he sinks his teeth in. The finale at the drive-in theater was also fantastic. The rush to beat the sunlight from going down as they take on the head vampire was intense and super well-paced. This is a SEE IT.
The Platform 2: The main draw is still the concept. I love the idea of a platform of food going down 300+ levels and there being nothing to eat before it even hits 60 and what you have to do to get even a scrap of food. However, two movies I think it about as far as they can stretch this idea. I was onboard with the first film until they got to the confusing ending. The second one is actually a prequel, which does help explain that ending, though they end up doing not only the same ending but include even more stuff that is just as confusing. In the first film, there is no order, everyone binges on food as quickly as they can. In the sequel however, they have a strict set of self-imposed rules they must follow or face severe consequences. They set up a really interesting plot, where we follow this hot artist lady and her large hairless fat cellmate who craves pizza. The two grow closer, but he sneaks a bite of some other’s food, which is a big no no. She comes up with a plan to stop from getting caught, but he just kills himself to save her the unnecessary trouble. Then the plot shifts and it becomes about how brutal the regime is and how she can rebel, hopefully finding a way out. I was also extremely lost on the plan to get out as it involves eating a dog painting, she painted… I will probably need to go watch that part again. This was a good one though, I’ll give it a SEE IT.
V/H/S:Beyond: I guess they were doing more of a theme this time, focusing on shorts dealing with aliens or UFO’s. Only two didn’t get the memo it seems, as they have nothing to do with aliens. They are also two of the worst ones on here. Even the wrap around segment was terrible. They used to somehow relate to the VHS tapes and why we are watching them. But I think after 3 they stopped doing that and now, they kind of have nothing to do with anything. The worst segment is the last one and maybe the one that didn’t get enough budget? It’s really bad, hiding the lack of budget with constant shaking, so you can’t see a thing. They also keep most of it in night vision, but the heat vision setting, so everything is saturated with white, you honestly can’t see a damn thing in this. The premise could be good, as she sneaks onboard a spaceship. But every time she injures herself, the ship sends nanobots to help repair her. But it’s made for the alien, not a human, so it keeps mixing their DNA together until she’s a monster at the end. Concept ok, execution terrible. The best out of the four were the first one, which involved a team of cop monster hunters who track down a group of zombies at a mansion, where an alien has made its home. By the director of the campy Thankskilling movies. The one after that was an Indian production that didn’t make any sense. Over worked actress I guess is a robot who goes on a rampage. The dog babysitter one was just awful and the less I say about it the better. The only other good one was about a group of skydivers who crash into an alien ship and crash land in an orange farm. That was probably the best one. By the director that did this movie Southbound that was okay. And I already talked about the last one which was terrible. The wrap around was so weak, they spend 4 whole stories to get to the conclusion of watching a 20 second clip of maybe an alien collecting eggs from a human and then for some reason we go POV into the dude’s mouth and that’s the end. I’ll have to go back and see what I thought of the last V/H/S film, but it had to of featured better shorts than this. Based purely on the two good ones, I guess it’s a RENT. If you have Shudder, you might as well check it out. If you skip around, I wouldn’t blame you.
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