The 25 Worst Films of 2025

The Captain's List is in!!! 25. The Phoenician Scheme â€“ It was reminding me a lot of Wes Anderson’s older films, before he got heavy into making films that seem more like plays. But I’d...

Weapons – Revisited!

An excerpt from my script review for Weapons which will be available 01/20/26: 3.) Quality of Characters Before we go too far into this… Maddie’s voice over in the beginning. She opens the story, but then...

Anaconda – Who’s the REAL monster in this story?

An excerpt from my script review for Anaconda which will be available 01/13/26: 2.) Plot Stability This felt very Jaws like, in that there’s a lot of eerie shit going on and we don’t...

KPop Demon Hunters – Were YOU part of this Netflix phenom?

An excerpt from my script review for KPop Demon Hunters which will be available 12/31/25: https://youtu.be/LW9QJIT_T-A Summer 2025. New Smyrna Beach, FL. Now if you remember the previous family summer vacation we witnessed the glory...

Is This Thing On? – Is this thing original enough?

An excerpt from my script review for Is This Thing On? which will be available 12/22/25: 1.) Marketability of the Idea I forget exactly where I read it, but this is loosely based on...

The Cabin in the Woods – Is YOUR title a mini-logline?

An excerpt from my script review for The Cabin in the Woods which will be available 12/08/25: 1.) Marketability of the Idea Have you ever stopped to think that a title works as a...
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Write to Reals: Bodies, Bodies, Bodies. – Slasher Fun?

An excerpt from Reals' script review for Bodies, Bodies, Bodies which will be available 08/22/22: Before we get started, a couple of quick things about the script and logline: The Script Now, it seems as...

The Green Knight – Cool shots don’t make plot!

An excerpt from my script review for The Green Knight which will be available 08/02/21: 4.) Dialogue and Description No notes on the dialogue, because there wasn’t much of it. When the boss asked me...

Hellraiser (2022) – Too Clean for the Cap’n?

It’s October, so you know what that means. Cold toilet seats. But also, the start of Horror Month! I know Rob Zombie’s The Munsters technically kicked off Horror Month, but I reviewed it...

The 23 Worst Movies of 2023.

It looks like 2023 was the year for bad movies. And it was the year of movies that people loved and for some reason I hated. But really that could be said...

Horror Month 2019 – Week 1

It's that time of year again! I'm of course referring to HORROR MONTH! A whole month where I watch noting but horror movies, review horror movies and... I guess that's about...

The Kitchen – Breaking Old Female Stereotypes?

An excerpt from my script review for The Kitchen which will be available 08/19/19: 2.) Plot Stability Again, it had a very all female Godfather 2 vibe, which didn’t concern me aside from one fact. The women...

The Capn’s Worst Films of 2024.

I think 2024 was kind of a meh year for movies. It was really hard to compile my Best of 2024 List, which I haven’t even started writing yet, however as you...

Crawl – Contained Doesn’t Need the Kitchen Sink!

An excerpt from my script review for Crawl which will be available 07/22/19: 2.) Plot Stability Initially, as the gator was chasing Haley around, I’m thinking, “There’s only so much ‘cat and mouse’ you can do under...

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