The Hills Have Eyes 2 – …not great.

An excerpt from my script review for The Hills Have Eyes 2 which will be available 04/23/24: 2.) Plot Stability Again…think Predator but a bunch of influencers before there was influencing. We’re going to pit these strong,...

Madame Web – A new review style for the Cap’n?

In the expansive realm of cinematic storytelling, "Madame Web" emerges as a beacon of creativity, weaving together a tapestry of intrigue, adventure, and existential exploration. Directed by a visionary filmmaker and brought...

Write to Reals: The Strangers 2 – Prey at Night

An excerpt from Reals' script review for The Strangers 2 (Prey at Night) which will be available 04/07/24: What Worked The Opening - Man, what a way to open this! Sure, killing the previous final...

Road House: Remake vs Original

An excerpt from my script review for Road House which will be available 03/25/24: 2.) Plot Stability Okay, before we get into the original, did anyone watch the remake? Don’t let me ruin it for...

Dune: Part 2 – The Cap’n Weighs In!

If given the option, I never go with IMAX, as it costs a whole hell of a lot more and I hate assigned seating like you’re attending a baseball game or you’re...

Shutter Island – NOT the kind of contained we mean.

An excerpt from my script review for Shutter Island (2010) which will be available 03/12/24: 1.) Marketability of the Idea We’re constantly telling you to consider writing a contained horror. Why? Because it’s one of...
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The Burial – Just because it’s “inspired by” actual events…

An excerpt from my script review for The Burial (2023) which will be available 11/29/23: 1.) Marketability of the Idea …doesn’t mean it’ll make for an interesting story. (Wondered where I was going with that...

Reptile – Subtext and White Space!

An excerpt from my script review for Reptile which will be available 10/02/23: 4.) Dialogue and Description The dialogue was actually pretty good. First, we’re given this weird call to Summer, a Real Estate agent...

Shutter Island – NOT the kind of contained we mean.

An excerpt from my script review for Shutter Island (2010) which will be available 03/12/24: 1.) Marketability of the Idea We’re constantly telling you to consider writing a contained horror. Why? Because it’s one of...

Horror Month 2023 – The Preshow!

Another year, another October, which means another steady stream of horror movies getting reviewed. A little something I like to call “Horror Month”. If you don’t know, I’ll be watching and reviewing movies...

Horror Month 2023 – Week 1!

Here's the first installment of 2023 for The Capn's most beloved time of year... Slotherhouse – This might partly be my fault, as I never bothered looking at what this was rated. You have...

Write to Reals: The Strangers 2 – Prey at Night

An excerpt from Reals' script review for The Strangers 2 (Prey at Night) which will be available 04/07/24: What Worked The Opening - Man, what a way to open this! Sure, killing the previous final...

Aquaman – Like a warm bag of feces in your pocket?

Do I really want to end the year with an Aquaman review? Or depending on how quickly I can get this out, starting the new year off with an Aquaman review. Either way,...

The Hills Have Eyes 2 – …not great.

An excerpt from my script review for The Hills Have Eyes 2 which will be available 04/23/24: 2.) Plot Stability Again…think Predator but a bunch of influencers before there was influencing. We’re going to pit these strong,...

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