Vesper – Not exactly a horror film, more dystopian sci-fi. But it does have some horror elements to it that were pretty good. The film in general was actually pretty good. Mutated plant life has become the planet’s top predator, making it hard to live and grow food outside of large corporate run cities. SEE IT
Old Man – I was expecting a bit more from this seeing as it is by Lucky McKee. But I mostly found myself bored out of my mind. It stars Stephen Lang and that’s about it. It’s just him alone in a cabin, that might as well be a shack. The guy is clearly insane, so any plot twists you know immediately are going to be related to some kind of hallucination. I was expecting horror, and once again it wasn’t what I thought. I still really enjoy Stephen Lang, so for that I guess I’ll raise my rating up a bit to a RENT.
The Loneliest Boy in the World – This is a hard one. The idea behind it was interesting. A strange, lonely kid makes a bunch of corpses his surrogate family. It’s even filmed in a way that’s interesting as well. But everything was just slightly too weird and too off. I’ve seen this director’s other films, and I wasn’t crazy about those either. This feels at home with his other movie Max Cloud. I tried several times to watch this, but it constantly failed to hold my interest. SKIP IT
Two Witches – I thought the trailer looked interesting; I was only slightly let down this time around. It’s basically two short stories connected through these two witches. One old witch and another younger witch. They mostly revolve around eating babies to keep their powers and youth. None of it was really all that exciting to me, however. The witches also have this chant they say when they curse someone, and it sounds like they’re saying Tico Taco. It made me laugh every single time. The film really didn’t interest me enough to recommend, giving it a SKIP IT. However, if the trailer looks interesting to you, it might be worth checking out.
Pussy Cake – I should have known what to expect by the title. It’s bad, really bad. It does feature some okay gore. But the majority is just people puking white stuff from their mouths. It gets old fast. I hated the characters, the plot is repetitive as hell, repeating the same actions over and over again, I got so bored with it. After the first zombie they pretty much showed you everything this film had to offer. SKIP IT!
V/H/S 99 – The first story segment is absolutely terrible. Why they would start the film off with that is puzzling. Why they’d even include it in the film altogether is puzzling. However, the film starts with the worst one and ends with the best one. Which just happens to be by the people who made Deadstream. Deadstream being one of the best films I’ve seen this month. The other story segments are just okay. Nothing really that stands out, as I’m finding it hard to even think of what they were. The sorority sisters that bury a pledge wasn’t too bad. The game show one was pretty good if not for the bad ending. The wraparound story involved a kid playing with his army men, which later becomes about a group of teens who peep on their hot neighbor across the street. That one wasn’t too bad either. The one that really stood out was the last, about a documentary crew of two guys, filming a cult as they try summoning a demon from hell on the new year. But they end up getting pulled into hell, and we follow them as they make their way, trying to survive demons. It’s damn good. And for that one alone, I say SEE IT! If it wasn’t for that, this is only a RENT.
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