An excerpt from my script review for I Feel Pretty which will be available 04/23/18:
2.) Plot Stability
Predictable plot.
Avoid it at all costs!
If this means your hero doesn’t get the outcome she was hoping for, fine. If there’s a longer “fall from grace” than similar films in the genre, that’s an option worth exploring.
Everything we read in this script plays out like countless movies before…especially if we’ve seen the trailer and know in advance what the premise will be.
Those who haven’t read the script (or viewed the film) could probably take a quiz on plot points and get 75% or more right.
That’s not a stat to shoot for with your own stories.
Write better than this.
My single, and largest issue with the script however, is there’s no “come to Jesus” moment for Renee.
That bugged me.
The moral of “inner beauty” is overshadowed by the fact that Renee never figures out that she wasn’t the “skinny model” figure she saw when she bumped her head.
Everything she accomplished she did as herself, but she doesn’t know that!
And her dark moment? Hitting her head a second time and going back to “normal”.
That’s so fucking stupid!
Better option. Avery telling her, as politely as possible, that her self image may be a bit “altered” is a much harder blow to take, but makes the ending more realistic.
As currently written, somehow Renee is suddenly okay with herself? Why?
Nothing truly changes from the Renee in the first act.
To our knowledge, no one corrected her that nothing magical happened in the first place.
Suddenly she’s okay with who she is for the simple reason that the writers need her to be so we can wrap shit up, and yell, “You go girl!”
That’s lazy.
You should want to write better than that.
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