Hubie Halloween – The Cap’n Takes One for the Team!

It has been a while since my last review. Mainly due to the fact there really hasn’t been much of anything worth reviewing.

However this month is special. Because if you don’t know, is the start of HORROR MONTH!

Those not in the know, Horror Month is where I review and watch nothing but horror all month long.

Also at the end of every week I’ll post a rundown of everything I watched and let you know if there’s something maybe you should stay away from or to check out for yourself.

I’ve also started a twitter account for that very reason. So if you like, go ahead and check it out at @Cpeachfuzz.

Feel free to give me a follow if you like and I’ll make sure to return the favor. Though I warn you, so far I have at least 4 tweets complaining about my computer chair, so know what to expect on your timeline.

Usually Reals is the one to take on Adam Sandler films, only because I shoved that honor on to him like a deformed baby no one wants. But maybe it’s all the candy corn I’ve been eating lately, I decided to be the nice guy and step into the bullet that is the Netflix Adam Sandler movies.

I’m not going to give you a rundown of all of them, just know I think we reviewed most of them and they’re all shit. Not a little shit, but a whole bunch of shit.

Hubie Halloween however is explosive diarrhea while still wearing pants kind of bad.

Though I will say, it’s good to see a film where someone with a mental handicap finds love. Not since The Other Sister are we treated to such nuance. A film the brain damaged can say, finally a film for me.

I have no idea what to think of this character Hubie Dubois Adam Sandler is playing.

It’s very reminiscent of his Waterboy character Bobby Boucher. But kind of acts as this cautionary tale of what happens when a mentally challenged person gets additional brain damage from getting hit too much while playing college football.

There are a ton of references from previous Adam Sandler films. Ben Stiller even shows up reprising his role as Orderly Hal from Happy Gilmore.

The pee sheet from Waterboy also returns.

The whole cast of casuals return from Steve Buscemi, Kevin James, even Rob Schneider, who surprisingly doesn’t say his famous line, “YOU CAN DO IT!”.

I’ve wasted enough time, let’s get down to the plot.

Adam Sandler plays Hubie, a person everyone in town passionately hates for some bizarre reason. Kids see him riding on his bike down the street and instantly throw shit at him. Not just eggs but rocks and gardening tools.

To say Hubie is a weird guy is a bit of an understatement. At times it is so hard to understand what he says in some scenes. If I cared enough, maybe I would have tried playing it back to make it out, but really I didn’t see the point.

A lot of times he needed subtitles, as words fumble out of his mouth like mashed potatoes.

Aside from his speech impediment, Hubie also carries around a magical thermos. And by magical I mean it can pretty much do anything he needs it to do for any particular scene.

I almost feel like they added this in there to try and show Hubie isn’t full blown mentally challenged, as they state this thermos is something he created.

So not dumb, just really really weird and stunted…

As he lives with his mom, has never had a girlfriend, pines for his school crush.

They also made him a bit of a superhero, being able to pull off incredible feats no normal person could do unless they were an action movie hero.

Hubie loves Halloween, yet is frightened of just about everything. Since he’s Jewish, it’s kind of the only holiday he’s allowed to enjoy with everyone else. But like I said, he pisses himself with every jump scare.

He also takes it upon himself to be the town’s monitor. Like a hall monitor but for the whole town of Salem.

Setting this in Salem, I feel like maybe this had more to do with the plot, but was written out. They mention his great great grandmother was the only one to stand up against the witch trials. They do kind of try to play off Hubie being persecuted by the town folk much like his ancestor, but Hubie is just so fucking weird, it’s hard to really feel bad for the guy.

Sure, there are characters who are giant assholes to him, like Ray Liotta’s character. It’s less like hey stop picking on this nice guy and more like stop bullying the slow kid.

To make things even more uncomfortable, they give Hubie a love interest in Violet, his high school crush who was married to the police chief played by another Adam Sandler favorite regular Kevin James.

She seemed normal enough at the start of the film, but then as the film progressed she got weirder and weirder with her infatuation with Hubie, until at the end she’s as brain dead as he is and making out with her TV screen.

I actually kind of like the idea of Adam Sandler doing a horror movie that isn’t him voicing an animated vampire.

One of my favorite Halloween based films growing up was Ernest Scared Stupid. When I first watched the trailer for Hubie Halloween, I kind of got that feeling from it. It hinted at monsters and serial killers… I was interested, what can I say! In my heart, I might still be an Adam Sandler fan, I’m always willing to give him a chance. Like any abused housewife.

Anyone remember Spaced Invaders?

I was expecting maybe just maybe I’d get something like that from Adam Sandler. But what I got was Tyler Perry’s Boo! A Madea Halloween.

To kick off the plot of this I guess you can call “movie”, we are introduced to the crazed psychopath that has escaped the loony bin.

The setup makes me think Alone in the Dark, however the PG-13 rating quickly hits me with the reality that this isn’t going to involve much killing.

So another element that got me somewhat interested at first, was Hubie’s neighbor played by Steve Buscemi. They constantly reference that he is in fact a werewolf.

So we got an escaped deranged person on the loose in town and now a werewolf. I started to think, well if the crazy guy plot falls apart, at least there’s still that werewolf they have to deal with, right? Right?

How naive.

The plot really consists of people lying to Hubie on Halloween, so he’ll run off to investigate it. That’s mostly how the plot moves in this story.

When we aren’t focused on the Hubie character, we shift over to Violet’s adopted kids. Why? Well, how else are you going to put your kids in the movie?

I assume, there’s so many Sandlers in this, it’s hard to keep track of them.

Their plot doesn’t really connect to anything other than they are Violet’s kids who is Hubie’s love interest.

They have a quick thing involving the older boy and the hot older girl that works at the coffee shop. I thought maybe since the older girl was dressed as Red Riding Hood, that might play into the story more. Or to think out of the box, maybe have her be the true monster of the story.

The only reason I kept thinking that was just how unusual it was to be interested in this younger kid. None of it really goes anywhere or plays into anything other than they go to the same party Hubie shows up at.

I’m not even sure how Hubie got there or why. I guess to just scold kids for partying. Oh and to get him into the corn maze where he witnesses the kid who bullies him at work being taken by… he kind of just gets sling shotted backwards into the night.

This happens to everyone that gets taken and it’s never really explained, especially once you find out who is really behind it. But then again, I want to remind you of the magical thermos that has a vacuum cleaner and a grappling hook inside of it, also soup.

Eventually they come to the conclusion that Hubie is connected to all of this. Oh, I guess I forgot about the werewolf plot. There really wasn’t much to tell you other than there was no werewolf.

So if it wasn’t the fake werewolf, then who?

They managed to track down a phone call, saying they are Hubie’s special admirer. Thinking it might be Violet, they meet up trying to get her to confess to the kidnappings, but instead she just confesses her love.

I honestly kind of wish they made her the one behind everything. It would have made so much sense, explaining her unnatural attraction to Hubie.

I don’t even know if I want to spoil the ending to you. All I’ll say is, it’s another letdown.

Then at the end they make Hubie Mayor? What?!

This film is a mess. It is paper thin on plot, characters are weird, plot contrivances are up the ass, doing whatever they want, logic be damned.

The biggest crime however, it just isn’t funny. Sometimes however, I will admit they do sneak a few jokes in that got me. But they are far and few between.

I can’t possibly recommend this to anyone. But I know parents out there would like to watch a Halloween themed film with their kids and not traumatize them. So for that reason maybe watch it with the kiddos.

But for me it is a SKIP IT!

Stay turned, as I got more horror films coming your way!

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