An excerpt from my script review for Becky which will be available 06/08/20:
2.) Plot Stability
Let’s start off with what went right.
We don’t know what it’s to, but by putting it in the hands of a nine year old girl with escaped cons willing to kill for it makes for great tension!
That’s a useful plot device, considering it’s something small and inexpensive.
Jumping right in.
Little to no time is wasted aside from the set up with Dominick and Apex. We go right to the lake cabin with Jeff and Becky.
A bad hero to thwart a bad villain.
As the story progresses, Becky is just as sadistic as Dominick, which begs the question, how long would it have been before she blew up without the trip to the lake house?
Those are the main portions that work best throughout the script and made it a good read.
What I didn’t care for, and I believe the final project did away with this, was the clichéd “new girlfriend” trope between Jeff and Kelly.
Sure you need (potential) meat for the grinder, and Kelly and Ty serve this purpose, but there needs to be a more unique hook we haven’t seen time and again.
This was one of the biggest issues I had with the script, not because it didn’t work, but because we’ve seen it so many times before it made major plot points too predictable.
One of my mental criticisms of this was around page 26 (of a 93 page script) that had Jeff and Kelly talking too much that I just wanted Dominick to show up so our horror could start.
I didn’t care for their first “vacation” together because I’ve seen it before elsewhere.
(Looking back on this particular point, he and the other fugitives arrival should happen earlier if the overall page length is to remain short.)
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