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The Strangers: Chapter 2 – I did not enjoy the first half, I’m referring to these as first half and second half, because it’s all one movie they just took chunks out of. And much like the first half, this is another half a movie with no ending, just abruptly ending in the middle of a scene. It picks up right where the last one left off, and became Halloween 2 for awhile as the killers stalk her through an empty hospital. It gets so repetitive at this point, with almost the exact same things happening over and over again but in different locations. Hunted at the hospital, does something stupid, gets caught, magically gets out of it, runs to the forest, gets caught, magically gets away, a ranch, a house, a car… This is what happens when you split your movie up and not make them actual movies. Your first movie is just the first act with no second or third act. And your sequel is just the second act. Which I guess just leaves part 3 all your final act? I’m not saying this can’t work, just not with this story, since who cares, and it needs to be a series. Which is what this feels like. Also, one of the Strangers dies and their mask is removed but I have no idea who it is. Are we meant to know this person? It’s a weird town where everyone acts suspicious. Sum things up, should have been a series. SKIP.
Traumatika – I knew I was in trouble as soon as I saw that Saban logo pop up. They’re known for making those geezer teasers, starring old action star actors like Bruce Willis, who was their top guy, now I think might be Stallone or Travolta. They make what seem like real movies, but aren’t. They’re the Walmart dupes of cinema. However, this horror movie was in theaters briefly and I thought I heard good things about it. Or maybe it was just the trailer telling me others are talking about it. This movie sucks. It’s hard to really pinpoint what it is exactly, something feels off. Again, Walmart dupe. The “scary” moments fall completely flat. It seemed like they were trying super hard, which is crazy since nothing in it was scary. They also tried being graphic, but even the “graphic” moments weren’t even that graphic. It’s also very light on plot, amplified by the terrible abrupt ending. Then for some reason sprinkled in some out of place humor. This movie is terrible, SKIP!
Scared Shitless – I love horror comedy, and I found the Toxic Avenger remake lacking, so when I heard of this movie, I got a bit excited. This was a fun watch. Good ol’ Canadian horror comedy, with SFX by Steve Kostanski. If you don’t know that name, try looking up a few of his movies, they’re great. Well, his last one sucked, but his others are great. He actually has a remake of Deathstalker coming out this month. Anyway, back to the review. What can I say, I liked this one, the gore was nice, the humor actually worked, if not for being a bit on the low budget side, like them reusing the same damn bathroom over and over again. RENT.
The Jester 2 – The first film was a glorified knockoff of Terrifier, and a bad one at that. However the sequel (still a knockoff) manages to do its own thing, thanks to a bigger budget, better writing, better actors and better SFX/Makeup. I liked the story of this one, as the jester character has to team up with a kid trick or treating since she fooled him with one of her tricks. I did kind of wish they’d lean into the relationship a bit, as it seemed like they were becoming friends. But all that changes once he starts murdering people in front of her. I liked this movie, I loved the lead actress, she was fantastic, I guess it could have been a bit gorier. But for what this was, it did alright. Worth a RENT.
Rabbit Trap – I guess put this in the category of movies just not for me. I feel like if you know about the mythos this is pulling from, you’ll enjoy it more. It wasn’t like I was lost in the sauce, rather I just didn’t find it all that interesting. A couple moves out into the middle of nowhere to make their weird arthouse noise music, with the husband recording sounds for her, when he hears something strange and walks through a fairy circle, which I guess summons a fairy looking for a family. This all feels like some old British fairy tale. Not sure what to rate this, as it wasn’t bad on a technical scale. So, RENT?
The Home – Unlike most, I like Pete Davidson, but man was he miscast here. Move has a lot of familiar faces too, it might look cheap as hell but the cast isn’t. It’s weird because yes the movie looks so bad, so cheap until the end with the house falling apart because of the hurricane. The only thing this movie has going for it, is that over-the-top violent ending. It’s one of those movies where they have to give you dream sequence to get their scares in or nothing would happen. I don’t really want to give it away, but there are some twists. Really dumb twists, but not ones you’ll see coming. And that ending, hilarious and bad but awesome as hell. For that, I’ll give it a RENT rating.
The Long Walk – At least now people know where they ripped off Hunger Games from. It’s fitting too they got one of the Hunger Games directors to direct it. I really loved this movie. It isn’t one I think anyone can watch on repeat, as this is pretty depressing, and hard to watch at times. It also doesn’t help that you really love these characters and don’t want to see anyone die. Even the assholes in the group you end up caring about. That is amplified by just how great this group of actors are. All unknown to me, but man, you need to seriously look out for these guys, because they are all damn good in this. This is old school King, you can feel his distaste for Nam and the state of the country when he wrote this. Even in an adaptation where a lot was changed, you can still see Stephen King’s fingerprints. This is a SEE IT!
