An excerpt from Reals’ script review for Shadow of the Colossus by Justin Marks which will be available 09/20/18:
What Worked
Pg. 1 – The way that Justin Marks writes is a style that I really like. You can just hear his voice coming through and it makes the read enjoyable.
For example:
A HAWK SWOOPS IN AND PLUCKS IT UP
Shattering this tranquility and lifting us into the night sky. So much for the lizard. Let’s stay with the hawk.
Pg. 3 – Plenty of white space here. This is good and a good example of how to keep your sentences short and keep the story moving.
Pg. 7 – We have a nice introduction between Argo and Wander here.
Pg. 25 – 27 – The first fight with the Colossus is pretty cool just in terms of the sheer scope of it.
Pg. 29 – It is a sweet moment that he continues to wait in the cage for Mono until she is ready to escape with him.
As Blake Snyder would say, this is a great Save the Cat Moment for not just Wander, but for their relationship which I am starting to warm up to as we move along.
Pg. 34 – It is impactful that her Father is the one to kill Mono and not some demon or mystical creature.
Pg. 42 – 43 – This is good – to have Lord Emon furious that Wander can wield the sword… or something – full disclosure, I kind of skimmed the poor dialogue exchanges in this scene.
It is, however, important to include more conflict and more obstacles for your hero to overcome, as this scene sets up.
Pg. 44 – Awesome! Another Colossus showdown! We need more of these!
Pg. 65 – Give him two back-to-back creatures to fight is a cool idea and adds some tension.
Pg. 80 – Argo’s sacrifice is a nice moment and impactful, as he was really the only character I cared about.
Pg. 89 – 90 – This is a cool twist – that Wander has actually become the Demon-Lord-Thing and is the real villain.
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