An excerpt from Reals’ script review for Hate Night by the Boyd Brothers which will be available 04/06/18:
Initial Thoughts
I always love reading horror scripts because the horror genre is one that has to constantly reinvent itself and offer something new all of the time due to the sheer amount of horror films that come out every year.
It can also be a great challenge for us writers: can you put your own, unique voice and stamp on a horror tale? Something that has never been done exactly as you are doing it? How can you tap into primal fear in a compelling way that no other artist before you has done?
Let’s look at how the Boyd Brothers answered these questions with their script Hate Night!
What Worked
Pg. 1 – I already like that there is plenty of white space!
I like the description of JP –
JP’s 20, pale, tall and skinny, looks like one of the Columbine shooters.
It may be in bad taste, but I can immediately see what this kid looks like in my mind AND it only took once sentence! That is what you want to do with your writing!
INT. BOWLING ALLEY LADIES ROOM – LATER
A nasty place.
This tells us everything we need to know about the bathroom – and we can imagine what the author means. Remember, less is more!
Pg. 9 – Percy nods and grins. He looks like an unshaven hippo.
This is another strong image.
Pg. 24 –
KURT
We should leave.
GAIL
This is our house.
KURT
It’s just a house.
GAIL
There are things here we cannot replace.
They share a look. She’s right.
This quick exchange is tight and well-done. We know there is something ominous about this conversation, but we don’t yet know exactly what it is…
Pg. 34 – The homey charm of the room is in direct contrast to the violence unfolding within.
I like lines like this, they give a reader a distinct feel of the scene and of the visual you want to convey.
Pg. 37 – JP and Stacy LAUGH, but stop when they notice Gail doesn’t seem scared.
This is good – build up the tension and keep hinting that something is wrong, but wait to reveal it so that you have your reader hooked!
Pg. 47 – It’s refreshing to see someone thinking clearly in a horror script and coming up with a reasonable plan.
Pg. 66 – With Razor punching JP – First of all, he deserved that and someone should have done that sooner. Second, though, is that this was set up earlier and it is nice that it pays off.
Want EARLY access to our videos, uploads, and movie/script reviews? Members get them FIRST! Follow this link to our Discussion Forum.
And be sure to check out our Notes Service, where I give my detailed thoughts and suggestions on your script.
