An excerpt from Reals’ script review for Black Widow (Unproduced David Hayter) which will be available 8/25/14:
New Section – How I Would Have Structured It!
Here is a new section of my review – How I Would Have Structured This Script. Remember, this is only my take, but I think it brings up some very good points and issues to talk about with storytelling and structure.
Here is how I would have started this screenplay:
We get Adult Widow in a massive action sequence in the streets of New York – taking out six or seven other assassins.
Then, she contacts someone the audience knows (let’s say Hawkeye, because he’s pretty useless otherwise. If it is up to me, I would pick Frank Castle – The Punisher – because he’s awesome and a story can always use more Punisher) and finds out that she has had a hit put out on her and every assassin in the city is gunning for her.
FLASHBACK – Doesn’t even have to be the red room – in fact, I would prefer that it was an Adult Widow, just starting out on an early mission.
PRESENT DAY – Widow chase scene – car crashes and all – as she narrowly evades hit-men.
FLASHBACK – More about what happened in the earlier mission – maybe this is where we get Hawkeye (or Cap or a B or C list character) who did work with her in the past via MCU continuity.
ALSO – Small hints and misdirections at who the real bad guy is. Maybe we even have Sofia (another Widow) involved.
PRESENT DAY – She goes to visit the well-known character she knew in the past. Finds out that the hit was placed by a large company, not just one person.
Well-known character is killed by —
Who Widow escapes from barely.
FLASHBACK – We see something about her past that gives us the final clue.
PRESENT DAY – She gets weapons from Frank Castle and goes to final showdown.
Final showdown with Bullseye and reveal that A.I.M. was behind the hit (A.I.M. is part of the already-established Hydra). She takes the organization down, but someone/something gets away or is still left to kill.
Set up for sequel.
My point here is (though this is probably just fan-fiction) that the plot moves forward faster and more fluidly if we don’t have to slog through the huge chunk of Little Widow-In-Training during our introduction.
Want EARLY access to our videos, uploads, and movie/script reviews? Members get them FIRST! Follow this link to our Discussion Forum.
And be sure to check out our Notes Service, where I give my detailed thoughts and suggestions on your script.