An excerpt from my script review for The Fly which will be available 11/07/22:
3.) Quality of Characters
Good character connections.
Veronica.
A Lois Lane type, if you will. She’s a smart reporter that’s out to make a name for herself, but also not dependent on a man.
She’ll take a lover where and when she wants. I mean hell…when Brundle initially asks her for an item to teleport, she takes off her panties and hands them to him.
It’s their first “date”!
Brundle.
The reclusive scientist Veronica initially only wants to hitch her wagon to, but over time, his eccentricities become charming to her.
Stathis.
Veronica’s ex-lover and boss.
Being completely honest, he’s a huge creep. Stalking her. Demanding she be with him. Trapping her in uncomfortable social situations.
For me, Stathis didn’t really work initially.
He’s introduced as this big time magazine editor…a stereotype of the Eighties…powerful…in charge…manipulative.
Then we’re delivered to three or so scenes where he just follows Veronica around, whining and bitching like a spoiled little kid.
I half expected him to throw a tantrum in the clothing store.
(Was this Lucas’s inspiration for Anakin with Padme in Episode 3?)
Now…and why this doesn’t really work…
Stathis more or less becomes the “hero” of our story once Brundle goes full Brundlefly and kidnaps Veronica.
This is a tough sell at best, because you just spent fifty or so pages making him a complete scumbag.
In the second half of the script he, for no clear reason, is fine just “being friends” only caring about Veronica’s well being, albeit with this lame throwaway line about “stress sex”.
I mean sure he saves her, and in a selfless sort of way, but there was too much at the beginning for him to be remotely likable for some half-assed redemption arc.
In your own writing, when taking your characters down this path, it’s fine to give a character traits we don’t like.
Putting them into a love triangle is great for tension. You need that.
Hell, making the ex unhappy about the partner moving on not only makes sense, but is exactly what you should be doing.
My advice though…avoid the tantrums and going “full creep”.
No one comes back from full creep.
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