An excerpt from my script review for Straight Outta Compton which will be available 8/20/15:
4.) Dialogue and Description
The dialogue was decent, in that it felt like the “street dialect” was captured for the early 90s and didn’t come across as a bad stereotype.
(Other than characters saying “fuhh” instead of “fuck” on several occasions which was silly.)
Early example on page 4, where Verna, Dre’s mom, lectures him about getting a real job, calling him a “mutha fuckin baller.” (Verna was great.)
Then page 20 – ICE CUBE – (Raps about penis awesomely.)
Ummmm, that’s not writing dialogue, and if you can’t think up a fun penis related song, just leave it generic and let the artist/actor fill in those blanks.
Page 71 – Another instance of the “fake persona” where Eazy threatens to kill Cube, and Dre just rolls his eyes, knowing that isn’t who he is.
The description was where I took serious issue.
…his face unreadable as stone…
God damn they look cool.
The girls. Big titties bouncing.
And on and on.
It almost felt like this was written by a fanboy who thinks:
A.) This I how real men talk/act.
B.) I need confirmation from other people about how cool NWA is.
If you say something once, people tend to believe you, because we’re human and believe others are telling the truth until proven otherwise.
It’s when you constantly have to tell us how great something is, or cool people are, that we wonder if you’re really trying to convince yourself.
Again, it felt like the gansta persona was constantly being justified and worshiped, in direct contrast to the action of the characters.
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