An excerpt from my script review for Standoff at Sparrow Creek which will be available 01/21/19:
2.) Plot Stability
The title of this review says it all.
Escalate right out (of) the gate!
There was zero downtime in this, aside from maybe Gannon shooting a deer amid random gunshots in the area at the opening.
Second (maybe third) scene and there’s the sound of rapid gunfire, which he knows isn’t good.
That kick starts a cloak and dagger round of phone calls summoning he, and his fellow militiamen, to their lumber warehouse hideout to figure out what’s going on.
No one claims to have done it, but things keep going wrong implying someone isn’t being completely truthful.
People are late.
Stories don’t add up.
An AR-15 is missing, as well as ammo and grenades, all things the shooter used according to local news reports.
Our hero is a former cop.
His brother, a relationship unknown to the others, is an undercover cop embedded in the group.
That undercover’s only contact was killed at the funeral.
If the boys don’t give up the one who did it, they could all face 20 years in prison!
This was all very good and the plot kept moving and building with each sentence and plot point.
Now remember, this being contained, the action will be limited, so it will take tension via dialogue and a “guessing game” plot to move the story forward, a technique this writer employed well.
The twist at the end was a bit surprising.
I wondered about the second in command for Noah, if he really was under fire once the code words were radioed in. (Seemed convenient to the plot at the time.)
But the whole thing being a staged setup?
Not only was it a good twist, but this script did what all art is supposed to to…Make us think!
What a fantastic moral dilemma for Hollywood!
Unrestricted gun rights and self armed militias are dangerous, but is it valid to take them down via a set them up, arguing they might have done something?
Quite the dance of infringing on civil liberties versus those granted by the 2nd Amendment!
Want EARLY access to our videos, uploads, and movie/script reviews? Members get them FIRST! Follow this link to our Discussion Forum.
And be sure to check out our Notes Service, where I give my detailed thoughts and suggestions on your script.