An excerpt from Reals’ script review for Runner,
Runner which will be available 02/07/18:
MOMENTS THAT WORKED WELL:
— Pg. 1 – I like the line “Smart comes off him like airstrip heat waves.” Also, “(He is) as unreadable as a Chinese Bible.”
— Pg. 2 – I also like that they don’t describe female characters as “Beautiful” or “Sexy” – I’ve seen this a lot recently and it is refreshing to see Rebecca given a deeper description even if her character is not ultimately given a lot to do.
— Pg. 25 – I do like how Block got so sinister so fast with that threat to pay someone to cut the rich guy’s head off. And for only $500!
— Pg. 29 – Not to bring up any political commentary, but Block’s line about how he is a “One man stimulus package in this shithole.” Sure reads a little bit differently now – maybe it’s a line that’s even more effective in showing what kind of character Block is than it was when written in 2013.
— Pg. 32 – Finally, a character moment from Richie. Buying Rebecca a new dress because she commented earlier that she wouldn’t be able to change all day is a smooth move and really the first time we see Richie doing anything smooth or sleek that shows he is more than just talk.
It is a small moment, but small character moments like this are great because they build your understanding of the character and how he/she interacts with the world that you have built.
— Pg. 38 – I like Block’s line “And I’m a badass at showing my appreciation.” It is cool and I can see Ben Affleck delivering that line well.
— Pg. 59 – I like this exchange between Richie and the FBI Agent:
Why are you doing this to me?
I could say it’s my duty, my job. I have an obligation to uphold the blah-di blah-di blah. But the truth is: it’s fun.
— Pg. 60 – It is interesting that Richie goes straight to Block and tells him the FBI approached him. That is a character moment I didn’t’ see coming.
— Pg. 94 – The line “It’s Costa Rica.” Makes me laugh when I think of the Hangover 2 moment – “Bangkok has him now.” “Why does everyone keep saying that?!”
— Pg. 109 – We needed this earlier – as a setup to Block. Something to show how dirty and corrupt he is and to make us scared for Richie the whole time.
WHAT WE CAN LEARN:
1. You need to set up a sympathetic and likable or at least interesting protagonist. Here, we had a pretty bland protagonist who I had trouble caring for or about.
2. Don’t get too technical with your story. Yes, you should research whatever it is you are writing about, research the heck out of it, become an expert! – but then be sure to make your story accessible to your audience because they are not experts in the field.
3. When you can, cut your story down – bare bones is best! This one was overlong and needed a heavy polish. Lots of little lines of dialogue like “hey” or “I’m Richie” can be tossed out and several of the unimportant characters can be combined or cut altogether like Pet and Cronin.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Unless you are planning to write the gambling story of a lifetime, I would say SKIP IT and read The Town (a much better constructed story) or even Hank’s Den of Thieves script review for a quicker paced, more interesting crime story.
Let me know what you think about the script, the story, the review or the film in general! Let’s talk below!
Want EARLY access to our videos, uploads, and movie/script reviews? Members get them FIRST! Follow this link to our Discussion Forum.
And be sure to check out our Notes Service, where I give my detailed thoughts and suggestions on your script.