We went from having nothing to watch and review, to a single day having at least 6 films worth watching and reviewing. Movies might not be coming to theaters, but they are still hitting streaming platforms pretty hard. I wish they’d space these releases out a bit, seeing as I’m limited to what I review these days, so choosing which to pick from can be difficult.
On one hand, what’s the biggest release coming out? What would be more popular to review and for you the reader be interested in? But also I want to factor in how much I liked the film and lately I‘d say my last few reviews have been pretty negative, not liking any of them.
So as much as I liked The Old Guard or Greyhound, I didn’t love them. Not enough to write a review on them. However I guess I can take a little bit of time to give you my thoughts.
The Old Guard is the latest Netflix original film, based on a popular comic that I’ve never heard of. It stars Charlize Theron as an immortal warrior that has compiled a team of other immortals who take on freelance mercenary work to help people.
This group has been together for centuries, changing history long the way. Now in the present day, they are tasked with saving a group of school children that have been taken hostage, but it turns out it was a double cross and come head to head with another mercenary group wanting to take them captive to be experimented on to learn how they stay immortal.
Wasn’t that kind of the plot to the first Deadpool movie?
Old Guard wasn’t a bad film, it just didn’t have the most original plot. The acting was also spotty in places, mostly from the other woman in the group newly immortalized Nile, an American soldier killed in duty.
I’m not sure if it was the writing or just her acting but wow does she suck.
Charlize Theron is of course great. The action was really well done and exciting, it’s just the blah plot that really knocked this down to a RENT IT.
Next up, Greyhound, the new I guess big budget Tom Hanks WW2 movie, premiering on Apple’s streaming service. This is another fine example of a movie I didn’t hate but really couldn’t find all that much to say about it.
It’s a very contained film, very technical. I found myself lost numerous times once they start getting into battle formations and tactics…
The film has this neck break pace, constantly moving forward, without a chance to get your bearings. Which you’d think would add to the tension of the film, but somehow it fails at that.
Tom Hanks plays a character that’s pretty much a mystery to us. He doesn’t eat or sleep for a good 36 hours while they are being pursued by German U boats. That’s kind of his only character arc here.
Another issue I took with it was you never knew what anyone was thinking. Or who anyone on the ship was. Most of the time they only spoke to give out orders, relay orders or to confirm orders. So when we hear one of them dies, I have no clue who they’re talking about.
Also, I wasn’t sure what to take from the looks the crew gives each other. Usually it’s directed at the Captain, Tom Hanks’ character. But I have no idea if these looks are this guy doesn’t know what he’s doing. This guy is great. This guy is strange… No one on the crew talks to anyone, so I have no idea what they mean by these looks.
It also ends extremely abruptly. The whole time they are being dogged by these 6 German subs, sometimes even calling in to taunt them. They seem to be doing a pretty good job taking out the ships Greyhound is meant to be protecting, so them getting cocky felt oddly out of place.
The wolf pack as they call themselves, come out of the water, not only to shoot torpedoes but to then come right up to them to use gunfire. Which of course got them blown out of the water.
And when it happens, I was like… wait… that was it? It’s over? It was an exciting moment, sure. But it happens way too quickly. Also they said there were 6 subs when they only took out 4 I think. So what happened to the other two?
Look at that, I guess I did have more to say about this film than I thought. It’s a decent enough RENT IT.
Now that brings me to Palm Springs, the new Hulu exclusive film starring Andy Samberg. Any Hot Rod fans? Well I am at least, saw it in the theater when it came out, just about the only one in the theater.
I loved Hot Rod and you know what, I love Palm Springs too.
Andy Samberg has a charm to him, he’s a lovable goof.
Now obviously not everything he has been in has been good. Or in That’s My Boy’s case, even watchable, but I’ll still give him the time of day, because he makes me laugh more often than not.
He did an animated movie called Storks that is hilarious, I think it was my favorite animated feature the year it was released. And then there is Brooklyn Nine-Nine, a series I loved, but didn’t think would last past the first season, which is the case for most shows I like. If I enjoy it, that usually means the kiss of death.
But the show managed to outlive several other Fox series. Eventually it did get canceled and moved to NBC.
Since the move, the show has lost some of its flair. That I think has less to do about the move to a different network and more to do with just how these things go after a point in a long time running tv comedy series. And it seems to be at that point, hell, even The Office hit “that point”.
Rule of thumb, once the two love interests get together it’s pretty much downhill from there. The only option is to then break them up, then later bring them back together(I’m looking at you New Girl) or they get married and get pregnant.
That’s when you know your show is basically done. I don’t know why, it’s just how it is.
Hulu has been kind of the place to go for funny comedies lately. I’m not sure I properly raved about it enough, but Plus One, another romance comedy, is one of the best romantic comedies I’ve seen in a really long time.
Not to mention the series PEN15, an absolutely amazing series that everyone needs to check out right now. Also in text to speech it pronounces it “15 peruvian huevos”. That doesn’t really have anything to do with the show, I just thought it was funny and wanted to share.
So it kind of feels like a nice fit that Hulu would get Palm Springs, I think.
Another great addition to the film is Cristin Milioti, playing opposite Samberg. The name might not sound familiar to you, but she played The Mother in How I Met Your Mother.
She was the perfect casting for that role and she’s the perfect person for the role of Sarah, the black sheep sister to the one currently getting married, the whole reason they are at this resort in the first place.
Andy Samberg plays Nyles, boyfriend to one of the bridesmaids. We don’t really learn much about Nyles, as when we first meet him, he has lived this same day most likely over thousands of years. I guess in a way forgetting much of his life up until then.
Much like Bill Murray from Groundhog Day, it is estimated he was stuck in the same time loop for thousands of years.
Nyles is pretty much at the “fuck it” stage. The same stage Bill Murray was at before deciding to win Andie MacDowell’s heart.
Nyles seems to have a pattern down, he seems to be able to get anyone to sleep with him whoever he wants, minus the bride.
But he gets her sister pretty easily. That is until one night he takes her out into the desert and that’s when Roy shows up, played by J.K. Simmons.
You see, unlike Bill Murray, Nyles has brought others into this ever looping hell. Roy just happens to be one of them.
Out of anger, maybe boredom, from time to time Roy likes to hunt Nyles and kill him. He wakes up about a state away, so it isn’t all the time, just whenever the feeling strikes him.
Unfortunately for Sarah, that was the night her and Nyles wish to get it on, in the same location the portal the time loop started.
Nyles is attacked by several arrows, dragging himself into said portal, warning Sarah not to follow him But I mean, c’mon. Of course she’s going to go in to see if he’s hurt or not.
This is what got me thinking that all this was setup by Nyles to get her to join him in this never ending nightmare. Maybe it was like a 50 First Dates scenario, where they naturally fell in love but he got tired of her forgetting him every day, so he knocks her up and traps her on a boat so she can’t run away. Oh wait, that’s how 50 First Dates ended.
Regardless, it was giving me Passengers flashbacks, you know the shitty Jennifer Lawrence, Chris Pratt movie.
It might have been interesting if they went that route, but no, I was just imagining things.
But still, he could have done a better job at making sure she didn’t follow him.
So now Sarah is stuck in this loop, having to relive the same day over and over again.
For Nyles, he has to wake up in bed with his horrible cheating girlfriend Missy. For Sarah on the other hand, it’s much worse. I don’t know if I should spoil it, finding out was a bit of a surprise for me, so I don’t know if I’ll ruin it here. I do want you to see this movie after all.
We never really get a sense of how much time really passes in this loop, Nyles doesn’t really remember anything about his life outside the loop and Sarah, she’s still at that I need to escape stage, a stage Nyles has left behind long long ago.
Once Sarah realizes she can’t get free of this day, she starts to hang out more with Nyles, starting this budding friendship that obviously leads to more.
For Nyles, this is fantastic. Finally a reason to be happy when he wakes up.
Let me explain how this works, so let me break it down.
The day repeats every time you fall asleep. Or when you die.
The problem is you still feel pain, so dying isn’t the best way to reset the day. Another way is to just walk through the portal again.
Now for the portal.
After an earthquake, a cave opens up and inside is this giant glowing portal that kind of sucks you in if you get near it.
Finally having sex with Nyles, though it is revealed that they banged times before, Sarah starts to forget how miserable she is. She’s been on this self destructive kick, even before the time loop. They don’t get too into it, but she mentions at one time she was married.
Either he died or they broke up… it’s never explained. We just know she drinks too much and screws anybody. Turns out, the time loop is probably the best thing for her.
Except for that one little thing that I won’t mention. So instead of letting her self be happy, she resorts to going back to her destructive behavior. Which confuses Nyles as she is instantly distant towards him.
The two get in a heated argument, with Sarah ending the fight by tossing herself in front of a passing truck.
After that, she ghosts him, finding a way to slip out unnoticed and disappear. This kind of goes on I want to say for a hundred or so years, maybe longer.
Nyles is back to his old depressed ways, even going to find Roy since he hasn’t been around lately to hunt him.
Roy has been enjoying his time at home with his family, not being able to really appreciate it before.
Sarah on the other hand has been doing research all about the portal and time loops, more importantly, how to get out of one.
She finally comes to the conclusion that if you blow yourself up just as the portal is sucking you in, it theoretically will spit you out into the next day.
But after spending so much time in the loop, Nyles doesn’t want to leave. He begs Sarah to stay with him but she’s sick of the loop and is trying it regardless if he comes or not.
After his talk with Roy, he realizes that this place is going to suck without her, so he joins her in her suicide run.
There’s this old lady at the wedding reception that has a strange talk with Sarah before she hops into the portal that got me thinking, oh what if Sarah is that old lady and doing this suicide run spits her out in the past.
That actually wasn’t the twist, honestly there was no twist.
However if they made it out, I’ll leave it up to you to find out.
So time travel, it’s a difficult genre to handle, as it’s so easy to box yourself into countless plotholes.
And this film is no different.
So say just Sarah leaves the time loop but Nyles doesn’t, he stays, does that mean another Sarah will take her place?
Actually, they kind of answer that question during the after credits when Roy shows up at the end.
But also what happens if Sarah leaves and Nyles stays? Will there be another Nyles waiting for her in her timeline, since for her time is now moving forward?
If this is a portal you have to go through to start the loop, shouldn’t every night end with Nyles walking into the portal? And wouldn’t there be multiple Nyles…
See, the more you think about it, the more my brain hurts.
Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti have fantastic chemistry together, but I think that has to do with the fact Cristin Milioti could have chemistry with just about anybody.
I really wish her How I Met Your Mother spinoff panned out, I’d love to have seen more from her character and of her.
Andy Samberg was also fantastic and hilarious, playing at times a very toned down character than we are used to for him. He’s usually extremely depressed and apathetic until he meets Sarah, that’s when he turns on the charm.
Palm Springs is absolutely one of the best comedies of the year and I highly recommend checking it out. SEE IT!
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