An excerpt from my script review for Nobody which will be available 04/19/21:
2.) Plot Stability
First of all, my single complaint was that the Russian Mobster angle felt kind of cliché.
Thinking of those two previous examples from the above section, we’ve definitely seen it before.
What worked for this one though was the fact that Hutch seems like a pretty regular father and husband.
The script jumps right into the action too, not dragging out the mundane, with the second scene being a home invasion that jumpstarts Hutch’s old instincts.
What we “see” in this script all builds upon who Hutch is, or presents an unexpected twist.
For instance, and we’ll talk more about this in the next section, but Hutch’s in-laws treat him like a shmuck.
It’s kind of funny in a way, because we know he’ll be turning the tables on them at some point, making this minor revenge worthwhile for us too.
Then there’s the scene in the tattoo parlor, where he’s about to get his ass beat, surrounded by a bunch of tough guys, when someone catches a glimpse of his tattoo, and suddenly thanks Hutch for his service, and retreats to another room without muttering another word.
We expected a intense action scene, but instead are left scratching our heads, “Who the hell is this guy?”
Us asking questions like these are good for your story!
Then there’s the standard midpoint, where Hutch is finally bonding with his family, but we (and his brother) know shit’s about to hit the fan.
But I guess the best angle of the story is with this elusive wondering about who (or what as some characters like to ask) Hutch is exactly.
FBI computer servers crashing when people try to search him.
A dark web hacker backing out of a job not wanting to get paid when she sees an old picture of Hutch in action.
Mysterious calls on the phone and ham radio warning Hutch someone from his past will discover the family he loves.
Build this sort of mystique into your main characters, and your readers will enjoy themselves, but the key is not to overdo it.
(Which this script doesn’t, since Hutch shares his back-story with a dying goon, both filling us in and making us like him since this poor guy doesn’t want to die alone.)
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