Halloween might be over but there’s still time for at least one more horror film to review. And since Army of Thieves was in no way a horror movie, or a good movie or anything worth mentioning, I might as well talk about the new Paranormal Activity move. Why this over Antlers? Well, mainly because this was streaming and Antlers is in theaters only. I’m not wearing a mask the whole time I’m watching a movie, it’s bad enough I have to wear pants too.
How many Paranormal Activity movies does this make now? Are we on our 5th? I think there’s more than that now. Let me check… Yup it’s seven. We are on the 7th Paranormal Activity movie with an 8th on the way.
And from what I remember they’ve all stuck with the whole found footage thing, even though the genre is kind of dead.
Even the [rec] movies got out of the limitations found footage brings.
Next of Kin still uses the same formula, but honestly at times they just said fuck it and did whatever. Especially towards the end where the multiple camera angles were in no way filmed by just one person like previously established.
I also could not tell you what the other Paranormal Activity films are about. Or if this one is even connected. I’m going to say probably not, but after 7 movies, who the hell knows.
I can barely tell you what this movie is about. They did a thing I hate where they have the whole plot explained to you by a website characters find. I find it so lazy when that happens in movies. We don’t know how to explain what is going on, so we’ll just have them read it off a stupid website that just happens to tell us and the characters what is happening.
For a while there it seemed like Vincent D’Onofrio had that sole purpose in horror movies. He’d just show up on a computer screen and explain what was going on.
Here is what I’ll say about this movie, most of it is about 90% just okay. It’s kind of slow and a bit boring, but that’s just how found footage films are.
The other 10% however is batshit insane and I kind of loved it. But that’s also standard for films like these, boring first half with a crazy finale.
I think the last Paranormal Activity film ended the same way, was it The Marked Ones? Pretty boring through most of it then it ends with some street gangsters blowing witches away with a shotgun.
Next of Kin ends like it was ripped right from Resident Evil The Village. I loved the last 20 minutes or so of this movie so much, I just wish it could have been the whole movie.
If Outlast 2 the game can do it, why can’t movies? Have your boring 30 minute setup, but then make the rest of the runtime just be our main characters getting chased by a giant demon lady and the villagers going insane, on a murdering rampage.
There I go again, wanting a movie to be more than it is. Maybe it’s dumb to want something new from a franchise that is in its 7th film now. Not much new is going to happen.
I don’t know, shall we get into the plot of Next of Kin?
Unlike I think most of the Paranormal Activity films, this one is set in present day. Some of the other ones might have been too, I just remember these films time hop a bit. In the case of the last film I think it literally time hopped with the lead going back in time to the first film. Or was it the second film?
I don’t know, pulling my hair out trying to tell theses movies apart.
Our lead this time is Margot, who wants to make a documentary about herself discovering her relatives. You see, she was adopted and has never known her real blood family. Her KIN if you will.
Turns out her kin are Amish. Maybe it was a good thing she got adopted.
Her cousin Samuel was able to track her down and the two finally get to meet. Along with her… (I want to say boyfriend but I’m not sure) Cameraman Chris and the comic relief sound guy Dale they set out to the old family farm.
They aren’t exactly welcomed by the family that lives there Jacob and his kinfolk. I guess technically making him Margot’s grandfather.
With things we later learn, this whole setup makes no sense. They turn them away, but the whole purpose is to bring her here to this farm. I don’t think I’ll spoil it, but they need her there.
Margot’s mom got knocked up by some local guy and was shunned from the community. She decided to drop baby Margot off at the hospital. What happened to her mom after that is a mystery.
Actually, I don’t remember what it was they said happened to her after that. I don’t know if Margot thinks her mom is dead or ran away…
She does start to suspect that her mom might actually still be there after talking to a little girl who whispers something ominous about her mom still being there.
After hearing some weird noises at night in the room above theirs, Margot goes to investigate alone, knowing the room upstairs used to be her mom’s.
In there she finds an old note about not wanting to give her baby away.
Shortly after that the battery to their van dies and they have to walk into town to buy a new one. That’s when Margot finds a computer in Jacob’s closet with information about Margot.
They’ve been looking for her for a while now. And somehow this all connects to a creepy church out in the middle of the woods.
I don’t really know how to talk about the rest of the movie without getting into spoilers, so maybe I’ll just leave it up to you if you wish to continue reading. My rating is a RENT. It wasn’t bad, the jump scares were all pretty cheap and ineffective. The ending however got about as spooky as this series has ever gotten.
So let’s talk about it.
Margot I guess gets possessed by a demon and put in a trance. The villagers take her to the church without any pews just this well-like hole in the ground you lower things into.
Chris tracks Margot’s location and goes down the well to discover she is being prepped for a sacrifice of a sort.
On a throne of bones we see this giant monster woman. The goal is to transfer whatever is in this monster lady, who happens to be Margot’s mom, into her to try and contain it.
But Chris interrupts the process, causing the monster to get free.
Now the whole village is in chaos, killing each other, themselves and attacking Margot.
Not to mention the now freed demon monster lady that had tracked them and pinned them down in the barn.
The monster kind of looked like the Blair Witch in that most recent reboot. This is where the camera goes nuts and they just toss the whole found footage one camera thing out the window.
And honestly, the movie is better for it. Found footage has so many limitations and you can just see this film struggling to break free from it.
Speaking of Blair Witch reboot, didn’t they do a mixture of the two? Half actual movie, but found footage when it needed to be or am I remembering this wrong?
How does Next of Kin stack up next to the other films in this franchise, you might be asking yourself. Compared to the others, this wasn’t too bad. It’s better than Marked Ones, that’s for sure. And the one after that Ghost Dimension.
I honestly don’t remember a single thing from Ghost Dimension.
If you’re a fan of these movies and you happen to have Paramount plus, give Next of Kin a watch.
And that officially concludes Horror Month.
Now I can start watching horror related Christmas movie instead! And Bruce Campbell just happens to have one on the way.
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