An excerpt from my script review for Get Hard which will be available 04/06/15:
4.) Dialogue and Description
Blocks of description. Not walls of it, just mostly blocks, but you all know better.
Break it up. If it isn’t fancy, it better be comprehendible.
Page 113 – The most flagrant example of the above.
Hokey? Cheesy? Will Ferrell bits we’ve seen before?
Is it possible you were called The
Wizard because you tricked people?
No! I was a good wizard, like in
the Wizard of Oz!
He was a fake.
Sweat is practically raining off of Brad’s body.
No, okay, but…
(directly to the jury)
…if I was one of the witches, I
would’ve been the one who wasn’t
Gentlemen, this is my future son-inlaw,
Didn’t you hear? Alissa and I broke
Give her time, she’ll come around.
This is Chet Coleman and Mark
Grimes. They’re private
investigators who specialize in
I lost all track of time. I had to
invent an imaginary friend to keep
from losing my mind.
You were in there for twenty
That’s insane. I was going to hang
All of it seemed to rub me the wrong way.
Why do you keep putting him in your
He just shows up! He raped me with
What the fuck?!
He put a shark inside me!
For whatever reason, I laughed at the “shark rape” bit. Even though I was annoyed at the drawn out set up.
And here’s some of what our beloved Captain Peachfuzz thought about the film:
I like Will Ferrell. I like his movies. Some don’t and that is fine. At least he isn’t like Adam Sandler who mostly just makes movies now to scam studios out of their money so he can go on vacation and pocket the rest.
I like Will Ferrell and get interested whenever a new film of his pops up. Kevin Hart on the other hand, I’m still debating. I don’t like his shtick. Well, let me clarify. I’ve already seen his shtick and done by much funnier people. He’s a combination of Chris Tucker and Eddie Murphy. But seeing as both of those people are complete assholes, an improved version seems appropriate.
The plot actually turned out way differently than what I was expecting. I thought it was going to be first half, Will Ferrell’s character trains to go to prison. Second half, have him in prison. It being funny because the guy who trained him knew nothing about prison life, so when Will gets to prison… hilarious hijinks pursue.
That is not the plot.
First I want to take some time out of the review to be in awe of Alison Brie. She plays Will Ferrell’s money hungry evil wife. Sorry, HOT money grubbing evil wife. I’m in love with her. The first time we are introduced to her character, she is wearing lingerie and straddling Will Ferrell. That lucky son of a bitch! Take my money, I don’t care!
Let me wipe some of the drool. Okay, here we go, back to the plot.
Will Ferrell’s character James is a… I wanna say stock… maybe… he’s… um… I don’t know what he does. He makes a lot of money and is going to marry the boss’s daughter. He is living on cloud 9.
Darnell, Kevin Hart’s character, is not on cloud 9. He is better than most, actually owning his own car wash business. Because as we all know, the world needs more car washes. His is located in the parking garage of the company Will Ferrell works at. That is how they know each other.
There is a funny bit where Darnell tries to pitch James an idea to give him an exclusive deal to only wash his car for $30,000. And Will Ferrell’s only reply is that he could literally just buy a new car every time one got dirty. His services are useless. Then he gives him a dollar and drives away.
The movie needed more of that. More of Will Ferrell’s character being an asshole. Instead of him being a man child, just make him a racist asshole. No, the biggest racist asshole. So when his world goes to shit, Darnell is the only one he can turn to.
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