An excerpt from my script review for Flight Review which will be available 02/02/25:
2.) Plot Stability
Before reading, I noticed that this film wasn’t getting the best of reviews.
Sometimes that’s to be expected for contained pieces, given that by nature of the genre, they can’t fully utilize all the elements a summer blockbuster can.
Two of the things that are good in terms of writing a contained script, for the purposes of this section, are…
First, it’s challenging to a writer.
Second, it’s even more challenging to an actor, and something most will want to do to prove to themselves and their craft.
Whenever I read a script like this, I recall the first time I read Buried, thinking there’s no way I’ll care about this guy being stuck in a coffin for 90 minutes.
But I was pleasantly surprised, and it dawned on me that as amateur writers, this is something we should be striving for, because it enhances our craft and ups the chances of who we can sell to (being that the lower budget allows more players to come to the table).
Now, I’ve not seen this film, but this script did a lot of things right!
Right up front…a very limited setting of a Cessna 206, which even as a “bigger” six seater prop plane isn’t much roomier than that coffin Ryan Reynolds was in.
After that we have the “ticking clock” of Madolyn needing to get Winston to Anchorage to make the flight back East for his trial. The judge isn’t pushing it back again!
And then all the “minor” problems like the GPS signal going out, the radio not working, bad weather, etc.
When writing a contained script, this is another technique we need to make use of, something along a “mountains out of mole hills” approach.
Think of Misery, where Paul is confined to a wheelchair in a house he’s being held hostage. When he catches a break, Annie leaving him alone, simple things like going to the kitchen to make a phone call or get a knife, things we take for granted in everyday life, are now almost impossible given his injured condition.
These are the types of hurdles we need to create for our characters, whether implementing a ticking clock, dwindling resources, or physical limitations.
Do it effectively, and readers will take notice of your writing even if your particular story isn’t for them.
Now back to what this script did right…
Winston finds out very early on that Daryl isn’t who he says he is. This is important for contained because we won’t have a lot of time for “build up”. Get to the action!
Around page 25 Madolyn and Daryl realize his cover is blown, and they go right after each other.
Think of the possibilities with this one! They’re stuck inside this small aircraft, so not only is it close-quarter combat, but any bump of the yoke or flick of the wrong switch and that plane is going down.
Add in the “mystery” of who the leak is in the Marshall’s office, and it’s a practical element that’s moving your plot forward in between the action.
Another point I wanted to make here is the idea of “clear misdirects”, in that you’re going to need to lead the audience a bit suggesting one twist, only to have them do a 180 and suspect someone else.
Being that your budget and options are limited in a contained piece, this is one “simple” element to include that keeps an audience interested.
Lastly, just as things are turning out alright…BOOM! Daryl gets free and has nothing to lose because he can’t risk being sent to prison a failure.
All in all, this was a very good story.
Now the “nitpicky” stuff…
Daryl calls out departing “runway 164”.
I researched, but couldn’t find any such occasion, not in aviation anyway. (There were some sunglasses or something fashion oriented associated with that.)
Runways are named after the magnetic heading they’re associate with, rounding to the nearest 10 degrees and utilize the headings of a compass.
(01 to 36.)
So in this case, runway 164 would simply be runway 16, or “one six”.
Not a huge deal, but given that this script is very aviation specific, it’s good to get the terms right.
Next, there are a lot of frequencies in general aviation, so the odds of Madolyn just stumbling across a working one, especially in Alaska, are pretty slim.
The issue I had was when Hasan calls her on the satellite phone, but urges her to conserve her battery (something that really should have become a problem for her later) he could easily given her a frequency to talk to him on being that he’s with Air Traffic Control (ATC).
The standard emergency frequency for nonmilitary aviation is 121.5 MHz. Now maybe in between the mountains of Alaska it won’t always work, but there would be other frequencies for her to use that she could stay in touch and he’d have known that.
A note on rearview mirrors…
I’m not saying planes don’t have them, maybe added later as conversational mirrors with passengers, but why would you need them?
Planes don’t go backwards on their own, so there’s really no need, right?
Lastly, Daryl telling them “not to shoot” because the fuel tank was right behind him.
This could easily be chalked up to him lying to save himself, but it’s interesting to note that in aircraft the fuel is actually stored in the wings, and fed to the engine via gravity in smaller aircraft.
Even on the big planes, if you’ve ever noticed the fuel trucks pulling up, they hook into the wings and begin pumping.
It’s a very clever use of space!
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