You know summer has officially kicked off when a new Fast & Furious blockbuster hits theaters. The question however is, is the first spinoff film for the long and never ending franchise worth the ticket price and venturing out into the 108 degree heat?

The answer… Maybe.

If you’re a fan of the series, like I am, you know what to expect. And in that regard, the film doesn’t disappoint. However, I found the film lacking the usual charm the other movies have.

The running theme throughout all of these films still remains the same. It’s about family.

But in Hobbs & Shaw’s case, it’s a bit more literal, as this film introduces us to yet another member of the Shaw family. This time around it is Shaw’s younger sister Hattie, played by Vanessa Kirby, an actress I’m not entirely familiar with. I think I remember her from the latest Mission: Impossible movie, but I’m not sure.

It sure as hell wasn’t for her stint in Jupiter Ascending.

We are also introduced to Hobbs’ daughter Sam, who just happens to be working on a family tree assignment for school. But she’s running into a dead end, as she knows nothing about Hobbs’ side of the family.

So you know what that means, eventually by the end of the movie that family tree is going to be looking a lot less bare.

For these Fast and Furious films, family has always been something pretty damn important to Vin Diesel’s character Dominic and the rest of the crew, so when Jason Statham’s character shows up and out right murders a member of the crew, I find it hard to believe everyone would be okay with him then joining up in later movies.

It took me a while to remember why Luke Hobbs, Dwayne Johnson’s character hated Shaw so much. Then I remembered he put him through a window and into the hospital in… I want to say Furious 7.

The plot of that film has Shaw getting revenge on the crew because they put his brother into a coma. That plot is quickly dropped to get back to a heist plot. One of which I barely remember.

But these films aren’t popular because of their intricate plots. People see these dumb movies to see exciting stupid shit. 

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Hobbs & Shaw stays the course, featuring one of the dumbest scenes I’ve ever seen in a Fast and Furious film, where Hobbs hooks a helicopter with a chain on the back of a tow truck, then several other trucks attach themselves to each other to anchor themselves like a truck daisy chain as Hobbs uses brute force to pull the helicopter in. 

It’s the stupidest but fun thing in the whole movie. Possibly the whole franchise.

The ridiculousness has been amped up to 11 this time around, essentially having Hobbs and Shaw going up against black Terminator, played by Idris Elba. He plays a super soldier that has replaced a majority of himself with machine parts, making him bulletproof and just about everything else proof.

He works for an evil organization called Eteon, whose main goal is to use a virus called “Snowflake”, to wipe out the weakest of the population to help save humanity. 

This virus just happens to be quite literally in the hands of Shaw’s younger sister Hattie, an MI6 agent. Seeing as the rest of her family are all criminals, I guess that makes her the black sheep of the family.

She and Shaw used to be close growing up, but when Shaw apparently murdered his whole Special Forces team, they grew apart, not speaking to each other for years.

When Brixton, the Idris Elba character, shows up to the MI6 raid, he murders Hattie’s whole team and pins the murder on her as she flees with the virus, injecting it into the palm of her hand. 

Now on the run, the CIA turns to Hobbs in America and Shaw in London to help bring her in.
I was slightly amused when Ryan Reynolds shows up as an old pal of Hobbs. I was less amused when Kevin Hart showed up.

It was like I was watching Sharknado 2. Hey look! There’s Jared from Subway! What a swell guy, losing all that weight from eating shitty sandwiches. I sure hope nothing bad ever comes out about him. #subway

The character Ryan Reynolds played was so weird, that I went along with it only because I swore he was going to end up being the main villain behind the evil Eteon corporation.

You never see the man behind the voice, a voice that was distorted, but I swear it sounded like Ryan Reynolds. Which then got me thinking how he’s going to go after Sam, Hobbs’ daughter, in exchange for the virus… but it never played out like that.

Hobbs and Shaw refuse to work together to find Hattie, Hobbs being unaware that she’s his sister.

Shaw goes to investigate Hattie’s apartment, while Hobbs finds her pretty damn quickly, arresting her and bringing her to a CIA black site.

A few of Brixton’s goons show up, attacking Shaw. After he quickly dispatches them, he goes back to the CIA black site to free Hattie who was already in the midst of escaping herself.

But before anyone can do anything, Brixton and his men infiltrate the black site, killing all the agents inside but Hobbs and Shaw. 

Capturing Hattie, Hobbs and Shaw race to rescue her, only it to be revealed that Shaw and Brixton have a history. They were on the same Special Forces team until Shaw shot him in the face and left him for dead.

After an exciting race through London, where I’m pretty sure they had to CGI The Rock into the car, since there’s no way he would have fit, 

Hobbs and the Shaws regroup, finding a place to figure out their next move at Shaw’s stash house.

Inside is his collection of cars, one possibly being a reference to The Italian Job remake he was in.

Aside it being full of cars, clothes and everything else they could need, it also includes the ability to make fresh ID’s after the Eteon corporation used their influence to now set Hobbs and Shaw up as the ones who attacked the CIA black site.

Now with all three of them on the run, they need to find a way to get the virus out of Hattie before the deadly virus activates and starts to spread to the public, killing millions.

The only way forward they see, is to get the scientist who made the virus in the first place. Unfortunately, the only place that can remove the Snowflake virus is in one of Eteon’s headquarters.

Their new plan to get into the heavily guarded facility is to just turn Hattie over and let them extract the virus themselves. Once the virus is removed, Hobbs and Shaw can move in and take back the virus, and maybe kill Brixton along the way. 

Sadly, things don’t work out as planned. Hobbs and Shaw are captured pretty easily. Instead of killing them like Brixton wishes, he must first try to turn them by order of the head honcho at Eteon.

That doesn’t exactly go over too well either, as all Hobbs and Shaw can do is bicker with each other while getting electroshocked.

Hattie frees herself and steals the device used to extract the virus from her bloodstream. But before she can leave, she now has to free Hobbs and Shaw.

I don’t fully get their plan there. She’d be better off going in alone and freeing herself. At least then the scientist who was helping them would still be alive.

Having to rescue Hobbs and Shaw now not only got someone killed but the device needed to extract the virus damaged.

Now needing someone who can help repair the damaged device, they turn to Hobbs’ family. He has an older brother in Samoa who is good with fixing up cars, so I guess somehow that translates into knows how to fix high-tech medical devices?

Since Hobbs turned in their criminal father to the police, Jonah, his brother, has never forgiven him, disowning him.

Knowing Brixton is going to come for them with an army, Hobbs and Shaw prepare for the assault. Alas, it seems Hobbs’ mom got rid of all their guns.

So now they have to improvise, arming themselves with wooden clubs and mean faces.

After yet another extended action sequence and one ridiculous sequence involving a daisy chain of tow trucks, Brixton is finally defeated once Hobbs and Shaw put their issues aside and finally start working together, fighting as one.

Not happy with his defeat, Brixton’s kill switch is activated and he dies by plummeting off a cliff. It’s an action film, at some point someone needs to fall off a cliff.

Once the virus is removed from Hattie, all is right with the Shaw family once again. They visit their mom in prison and Hobbs introduces his daughter to the rest of his family.

There’s so much in this movie that doesn’t work. The appeal to me about these Fast and Furious films are, they never take themselves too seriously, they know what they are and they have fun with it.

In Hobbs and Shaw, I can’t say the same thing. At times they seem to be taking this ridiculous plot seriously, but also injecting it with stupid one liners and random cameos that left me puzzled as to why any of it was necessary.

As much action as this film has, it left me feeling slightly bored at times, having to force myself to pay attention to the screen. There weren’t a ton of people in my theater, so it wasn’t like I was distracted, it was just that the film was failing to keep my attention after a while.

They try inserting this romance between Hobbs and Hattie that completely falls flat. They have zero chemistry and kind of seems like he’s only interested in her to piss Shaw off.

I was wishing she’d turn out to be a lesbian, just so they’d stop flirting. It gets pretty cringy at times, I just wanted it to stop. And nothing really comes of it anyway. They share a kiss towards the end and then I guess go their separate ways. So what was the point?

If you’re looking for something dumb, sure, check this one out. For me, this was my first and most likely last Fast and Furious film I’ll be seeing in theaters.


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