From the writer of the 1998 Godzilla film and the director of Geostorm, now brings you Bad Samaritan, a fun little thriller that I quite enjoyed.

David Tennant plays Cale Erendreich, now Cale is one sick fuck who loves to kidnap women, bind them and then eventually kill them. He’s also extremely rich and has a great knowledge of just about everything. Hacking, bomb making, body disposal, he’s even really good at quick clean ups.

He’d be a real catch if not for the fact he likes murdering people.

When Cale was young he murdered his horse trainer, I guess he wanted to impress her by trying to tame an unbroken horse, but ended up killing it instead. Somehow that situation got so out of hand it resulted in him shooting the trainer to death. Talk about an escalation.

So ever since then, crazy little Cale has been taking women, binding and beating them like the horse he couldn’t break when he was a kid, trying to then break the girls which always results in him taking them to his creepy cabin where he digs them a hole in his mass grave.

Because he is so rich and is so good at covering his tracks, he has never been caught. That is until one night when a young Irish bloke named Sean breaks into his home to steal some of Cale’s valuables. You see, Sean, along with his pal Derek have been running a scam where as valet drivers, they sneak into homes while the occupants are eating at the restaurant they work at.

So I didn’t know this but apparently restaurants don’t have their own valets, but outsource to independent companies like Derek and Sean’s little joint venture.

And where exactly do they park these cars anyway? Because it made it seem like they just drive them up the street and park them by the curb. Do you have to tip valet drivers? I mean, you got to tip everyone these days so I assume so. Of course I know nothing about this stuff, hell, I didn’t even know you had to tip the pizza man until a few years ago. Just hand me the pizza, door in face.

I guess if you really think about it, it is kind of a good scheme these two have going on. You know no one probably isn’t home since hardly ever does one go out to eat alone. Though that theory kind of bites them on the ass when Cale shows up.

Because Cale is such an unbearable asshole, they see him as an easy mark, taking his expensive car back to his house where they find a yet to be activated credit card. As they make plans to steal even more shit from this guy, Sean stumbles on a room that has been covered from floor to ceiling in a black tarp.

That’s creepy enough but the fact he also finds a young woman chained to a chair and gagged is what really freaks him out. It didn’t hit me until the premiere of the new season of Better Call Saul that the chained woman is in that show as Mike’s daughter in-law.

Sean doesn’t even notice any of this at first. He only takes notice once he tries taking a picture of Cale’s checkbook with his cellphone.

Sean wants to help this lady but she is bolted down tight, not to mention Cale has cameras everywhere and loves to check in on her from time to time with his cellphone.

Being too afraid of getting caught, Sean leaves her behind but not before calling the cops.

Cale notices right away that something is off about his home. He’s very anal-retentive, almost OCD about having everything in its right place. So when he notices his bed looks sat on and his home phone isn’t in its designated spot, he knows someone has broken in while he was out.

And somehow in… let’s say maybe 10 minutes, I’m not sure what the police response time would be for something like this, so I’m just giving them 10 minutes.

In ten minutes Cale is able to get a lady over to use as an alibi. Shortly after the police leave, he walks the lady to her car where he spots Sean parked down the road. Cale lives in a pretty rich neighborhood, so Sean’s shitty car stands out like a sore thumb.

Knowing Sean is watching and waiting, he manages to remove the gigantic lock for the room he is keeping the kidnapped lady, remove all the tarp and replace the carpeting. Not to mention clear out his kill room that Sean also stumbled upon.

So why the kill room? Cale’s pattern is kidnap, bind, take to cabin, then kill in ditch. So why the Dexter inspired kill room with sawing tools and plastic sheeting? Maybe not all the girls make it to the cabin, I guess. Which is also pretty damn creepy.

After seeing the police just up and leave without investigating, Sean and Derek get the idea to break back in once Cale leaves again.

When Sean and Derek get back in, they notice all the changes made to the inside, not to mention no kidnapped lady. They also get the cops called in them by Cale, knowing they’d break into his house once he left.

They manage to get away but Derek is too freaked to continue this any further, but Sean isn’t. He might be a thief but he isn’t about to let this creep get away with whatever it is he is going to do to this lady.

So he goes to the police, admitting that he was robbing the house when he ran into the girl. He even has photo evidence of her since she shows up in the picture he took of Cale’s checkbook.

But even with the photo the cops don’t believe him.

Frustrated, Sean then goes to the FBI, where even they don’t fully believe his story, but at least they’ll look into it more than the cops did.

Seeing that Sean isn’t getting anywhere with his story, Cale decides he wants to mess with him a bit by ruining his life.

While Sean is back home taking a shower, Cale sneaks in and hacks his computer, even finding a nude photo of Sean’s hot girlfriend.

Of course the first thing Cale does is break up with Sean’s girlfriend over Facebook and sends out the nude photo in a mass email. She of course response poorly to this, breaking up with Sean.

Cale isn’t done with her just yet either as he steals one of Sean’s hoodies and violently attacks her in an alleyway. So I’m almost positive more to this was cut from the film. Cale set Sean up for this crime, even having a witness see the attack, but nothing is really done with it. There’s a scene where he goes to the hospital to visit her and she seems pretty terrified to see him. She can’t talk since she’s connected to a bunch of tubes but it’s clear she thinks he attacked her. When he first enters the hospital, you clearly see her friend who witnessed the assault talking to the police.

There has to be a scene that was cut out where she gets the police after him, making it so he’d have to go on the run, which would make more sense, isolating him more, making so that he can no longer just go to the cops about what he finds.

Okay, we’re getting into spoiler territory now, so if you want to skip down to my rating, do so now.

Anyway, Cale kills Derek, trying to make it look like Sean was responsible for that as well. Again, nothing is really done with that. After Cale kills his friend, Sean just breaks back into the house again looking for evidence or at least a clue as to where he might be holding her.

But of course Cale thought of that as well, planting a bomb in his home, blowing it up. Sean is able to escape just in time by stealing Cale’s car again. Using the GPS, Sean is able to gauge where to go. And he really needs to hurry up because Cale is at that point in his relationship with kidnapped girl where he kills them.

Thankfully, the FBI has started to believe Sean’s story, and are prepared to raid Cale’s cabin.

Sean makes it before the FBI shows up, wanting to free the kidnapped lady himself, redeeming himself for leaving her last time.

But because Sean can’t seem to catch a break or maybe just because he’s terrible at everything, Cale catches him and beats him half to death with a shovel.

When Sean finally comes to, he sees that Cale has dressed the kidnapped lady in his old riding instructor’s clothes, another ritual to his creepy kill fantasy.

He has dug a giant hole in the ground, coated in lye. And we know it is lye because he has a giant sack of the stuff with the letters LYE on it. I’m no expert of course but does lye come in sacks? And if it does is it just come with the words lye on it? Is this the generic version of lye? Wouldn’t most lye have to come in like a plastic container? I’ve seen lye for stopped up sinks, and that’s how it comes. I have no idea if you can just buy lye by the sacks full.

Anyway, Cale forces Sean to watch as he shoots the kidnapped lady, tossing her into the ditch. Now it’s Sean’s turn to die.

But, thankfully Cale has shitty aim since he missed shooting her. While his back is turned, she is able to grab the shovel and beat Cale with it. As she frees Sean, the two run off into the woods.

The FBI finally arrives but they can’t do anything since they don’t have a warrant. But Cale starts shooting at Sean, giving the FBI all the probable cause they need.

Sean and the kidnapped lady work together to ambush Cale, attacking him and getting the gun away from him. Beating him to death is too good for him, so they come up with a better plan. Now I thought their plan was to drop him down that pit with his other victims, but really all they did was tie him up the way he did to her.

And that’s Bad Samaritan. Hopefully I didn’t spoil it too bad for you, as I do recommend checking this one out.

It gets a RENT IT rating.

It isn’t higher only because I kind of think renting it, or seeing it at home is the right way to see this movie. Nothing about it really screams must see in theaters. Which might be why it came and went to theaters without me noticing.

David Tennant however is incredibly creepy. He’s so skinny and sickly looking. He plays such a horrible monster and it is a joy to see him eat up the scenery. With this and his role on Jessica Jones, I have no idea if I can ever see him playing the good guy again. I’m not sure if he’s trying to shed his Doctor persona or what. Either way, he’s great in this. And when it comes to the acting he’s the only memorable one in the cast.

The kidnapped lady wasn’t bad but I don’t even know her character’s name. It’s Katie, I guess. As for our lead, he’s just very bland and kind of generic like that sack of lye. The only defining characteristic is he’s Irish. They tried to make him seem less like a bad guy by giving him a loving girlfriend and the hope of one day being a photographer. But I don’t know if any of that was necessary. I kind of like the idea of him being a dirt bag kind of like Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad. A terrible person that tries to redeem himself.

Anyway, check out Bad Samaritan, it was a really fun thriller I’m sure you’ll enjoy, if I didn’t already spoil it for you that is.

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