aloha-movie-reviewAn excerpt from The Captain’s film review of Aloha which will be available 8/11/15:

I’m still trying to wrap my head around how this got made. Did executives read the script or did they just hear Bradley Cooper and Emma Stone and just zone out? They got hit with dollar signs and just tossed all their trust in with Cameron Crowe. He does romance films, he’ll make us a ton of money! What about the script? Fuck it, who cares!

This is going on my list of one of the worst films this year. I’m still not sure how high on the list it will get, but it unequivocally earns that spot whatever it ends up being. I’ll put it right next to Paul Blart 2.

What exactly is the consensus on Cameron Crowe anyway?

Any fans of his on here?

Is he considered a talented writer and filmmaker you think?

I kind of find myself having trouble trying to answer that. Yet I’ve seen all of his films. I guess he seems competent enough. I think I watched Vanilla Sky on an endless loop when it came out. There is just something about that movie that I love. Maybe it was the power of Tom Cruise. Maybe it was the power of Sigur Rós, which that film introduced me to. I don’t know. It’s a mystery. Nude Penélope Cruz and Cameron Diaz helped some too.

Vanilla Sky is also the biggest departure from any other film in his filmography. That is until we get to Aloha. A film so bad I yelled WHAT THE FUCK several times before it ended. I think Hank said it better, this movie is bit of everything and a whole lot of nothing.

This “movie” in question is like Crowe had 3 separate ideas.

He wanted to do a love story, check.

He wanted to do a spy thriller with an evil billionaire trying to take over the world, check.

And why not toss a little mysticism involving Hawaii in the mix as well?

Check and check.

None of which actually works.

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