An excerpt from my script review for The Social Network which will be available 07/20/26:
4.) Dialogue and Description
Here’s where we’ll be spending a good chunk of our time.
Let’s just get the description out of the way, since it’s the shorter portion of this section.
It works, but you’re not here reading this review for the description, are you? You want examples of how Sorkin propels his story forward via sharp dialogue laced with subtext.
Before we get to that, I will reference one single thing I wrote down for the description.
Page 44:
It should be noted that these depositions have an extra
element of discomfort as everything is being said within a few
feet of the people being talked about.
This was good, because the lines characters are delivering are not sugar coated, and that will make these socially awkward individuals very uncomfortable.
Now…what you came for…
If you want to learn about dialogue that “arrives late, and leaves early”…”What’s the most interesting way a character can say this?”…”How do I write subtext?”…<insert other stereotypical screenwriting jargon here>…
You’ve come to the right place.
This is why it’s recommended you read Aaron Sorkin.
Sure the pacing is on point, the description flows well, but it’s the sharp back and forth exchanges we’re after, taking mundane scenarios, like opening with dinner at a restaurant, and making it so we can’t look away.
Page 9:
ERICA
I think we should just be friends.
MARK
I don’t want friends.
ERICA
I was being polite, I have no intention
of being friends with you.
Just as her introduction suggested, this girl has run out of patience dating this pretentious prick, and she comes right across and more or less says so.
Most of Mark’s character flaws are reflected in his awkward exchanges, especially with females, one of which we’ll hit right at the end of this section.
Page 61:
DIVYA
No, I wanna hire the Sopranos to beat the
shit out of him with a hammer.
TYLER
We don’t even have to do that.
CAMERON
That’s right.
TYLER
We can do that ourselves.
CAMERON
Hey–
TYLER
I’m six-five, 220 and there’s two of me.
Instead of just saying something dull like, “We can beat the shit out of him,” Tyler delivers a visual of just what they could do to Mark if they chose.
He and Cameron are two mountains of steel, one pissed off and another close enough, that they could easily handle Mr. Hoodie and Sandals.
Page 75:
GAGE
Okay. “No” you don’t think I deserve your
attention.
MARK
I think if your clients want to sit on my
shoulders and call themselves tall they
have a right to give it a try. But
there’s no requirement that I enjoy
sitting here listening to people lie. You
have part of my attention–you have the
minimum amount. The rest of my attention
is back at the offices of Facebook where
my colleagues and I are doing things that
no one in this room, including and
especially your clients, are
intellectually or creatively capable of
doing. Did I adequately answer your
condescending question?
Oftentimes we’re encouraged not to have our characters monologue like this, and I’d urge you not to overdo it, but if you can deliver mic drop moments like this…you go right ahead…
And here’s one last one from page 162:
MARK
Likability?
MARYLIN
I’ve been licensed to practice law for
all of 20 months and I could get a jury
to believe you planted the story about
Eduardo and the chicken. Watch what else.
Why weren’t you at Sean’s sorority party
that night?
MARK
You think I’m the one who called the
police?
MARYLIN
Doesn’t matter. I asked the question and
now everybody’s thinking about it. You’ve
lost your jury in the first 10 minutes.
Continued on page 163:
MARK
Do you think anybody would mind if I
stayed and used the computer for a
minute?
MARYLIN
I can’t imagine it would be a problem.
MARK
Thanks. I appreciate your help today.
MARYLIN
You’re not an asshole, Mark. You’re just
trying so hard to be.
And that’s where we leave Mark…at least until the sequel comes out this fall.
It leaves us…feeling sorry isn’t quite right…but almost sad that Mark truly can’t comprehend why people don’t like him.
If he shares even a portion of the flaws present in this character, then I’d argue he still struggles to allow others close to him, even his wife and daughters.
But how do you relate this section to your writing?
First and foremost, as you digest Aaron Sorkin screenplays pay particular attention to his “what’s the most creative way a character can say this” and then the other character’s reply.
Now, you shouldn’t set out trying to make each and every line wittier than the last, that would get old, but as you read his script or watch one of his shows (The Newsroom is a great one) write down examples that could help you in your own writing.
As you reread your own screenplays ask yourself, “Do I have mundane settings or situations I’m putting my characters in? If so, are the dialogue exchanges sharp enough to carry them?”
We’re not trying to copy Aaron Sorkin, we’re trying to emulate even a mere percentage of what he’s taught us in our own work.
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