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Coyotes – I was hoping for a bit more humor and a lot more gore. Instead, I got annoyed by the constant character introductions. They happen well into the movie as well. I guess since they can’t kill the family, they needed to compensate by giving us more disposables. But in the end, they only really kill like 4 people. There’s also a moment as the start of the film where a car hits a person being attacked by the coyotes, I thought maybe it would reveal our lead was the one driving or have it come back somehow, but no, it has nothing to do with anything. RENT.
Succubus – Holdover from last year I never got around to. Hybrid of a screenlife and normal formatted film. The lead actress is absolutely drop dead gorgeous, just the perfect evil seductress. Ended up really enjoying this one, with some very neat visuals and some creative ways to mix screenlife into the narrative. I’d go as far as to call this one a hidden gem. I just wish maybe it was a bit sexier or gorier. It does have a few scenes of impressive violence, but for this subject matter, you’d expect way more. RENT.
The Elixir – The only Netflix movie I had any interest in for a while. This is an Indonesian zombie movie, with some impressive gore and zombie SFX, but the plot gets dragged down by constant scenes of long conversations that bring the action to a halt. Having characters dealing with unrelated zombie things is fine at the start of the movie, before the zombies, but once they make their appearance you need to cut back on that stuff as family drama shit is not what we are here for. RENT.
Bone Lake – This one had a lot of word of mouth. I never bothered to watch a trailer I don’t think, just people on YouTube saying how this is the horniest horror movie of the year was enough for me to make it a top priority on my watchlist. However, this movie has an extremely slow buildup, To a point I wasn’t really sure anything was going to happen. Or if it did, what exactly would it be? My first instinct was the suspicious couple that showed up. But that’s so cliché, no way so many folks would give a movie like that such high praise, right? Well… I won’t spoil anything, but I will say the ending is overly gory, making up for the boring first half of the movie. RENT.
Delivery Run – Another Saban film, pretty bad, like a “funny” take on Duel. I was mostly just really bored most of the time. I don’t have much else to say about it. It’s Duel but kind of Canadian and with an even slower truck, the snowplow, after our hapless loser of a main character who carries around a dead fish the whole movie. SKIP.
The Rule of Jenny Pen – Really creepy thriller. I was on Hulu, thinking about watching that Hand That Cracks the Cradle remake, when I saw this movie was available. I’ve been wanting to see this one for a while now, but it never came to streaming so of course I just forgot about it. I’m glad I watched this instead ass I found this pretty fascinating. It’s about a psychopath that has the run of an old folks home, tormenting all the helpless people there, until a judge suffering from a stroke becomes the new residence there and sees what is going on. Great acting, just super unsettling, RENT.
Jimmy and Stiggs – It took 4 years to make this movie in the director’s own apartment. However, the tiny space we are stuck in, and not to mention the constant killing of rubber motionless puppets gets old fast. It reminded me of when I was a kid, wrestling with that stuffed Hulk Hogan wrestling body pillow that was popular in the 90’s. It was just scene after scene of them tossing around this stiff puppet, filled with goop. The other big issue, I still can’t stand Joe Begos’ dialogue. It’s the problem I have with all his movies, his writing sucks. Mainly because they never shut the hell up. He’s like an even worse version of Rob Zombie when it comes to how much characters swear and talk to one another. As a short film this is a 10/10, but as a feature, this is more like a 4/10. Also, terrible title. RENT.
Dracula: A Love Tale – There was a time I was the biggest Luc Besson fan, hell, my favorite film is still The Fifth Element. But now it seems age has caught up with him, the talent has dried up with age, I don’t know, because everything he makes now outright sucks. This wasn’t bad, but it tries to play off Dracula as this good guy, misunderstood character, that does not work at all. In the end, this was mostly a remake of the Francis Ford Coppola adaptation. RENT.
The Radleys – Yet another holdover from last year. I felt like a horror comedy which the trailer makes this out to be, but it is not. It’s mostly a family drama who just happen to be yuppie vampires. Pretty boring most of the time, as there’s only one real kill at the start and them nothing for the rest f the film. I honestly thought about skipping to the end, just to see if anything was going to happen. As for you, you should just altogether SKIP it.
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