An excerpt from Reals script review for Tenant Zero by Kirk Anderson which will be available 12/19/18:
The Story
The logline reads as such:
In a newly gentrified neighborhood, two urban roommates are forced to take the rap for murdering their animal torturing roomie or unleash a zombie epidemic upon the city.
Now, without looking at the script at all, this sounds suspiciously like the first REC (or the American remake, Quarantine) and, as such, doesn’t do a whole lot for me in terms of making me excited for the read.
Now, I am going to give this one a chance and review it, but if I was just a reader, this one would likely be dropped pretty quickly as the logline doesn’t catch me and doesn’t do anything to stand out from a million other zombie scripts that I’ve seen before.
This is important: your logline must be catchy, describe the story and make your reader excited to dive into your story. Creating a logline is a skill in-and-of itself and something that I strongly encourage all writers to practice. Remember: you can have the best script ever written, but if no one ever gets to read it because your logline is too involved, wordy or just poorly written, then you will not have your masterpiece shown like it deserves!
That said, you could twist this in a pitch and make it work.
For example, if you said: It’s a contained horror comedy with a modern social commentary on racism, class and inequality similar to how Get Out used a horror structure to provide biting a biting critique of our modern society and views of others.
That might work or at least get someone to take a look at your script, but then you have to be sure that your writing delivers.
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