(Before you start, make sure to catch up on Week 1, Week 2 and Week 3.)
WEEK 4:
Slender Man – Truly this year’s worst film. Characters would show up and then just disappear altogether from the movie. I assume they must have died but since this film was butchered, their death scenes were most likely cut out. It happens a lot in this movie. I’m actually shocked they left a “fuck” in since this had every single R rated or what could be considered an R rated scene removed. Actually, it’s even worse than that, it’s like if they thought a PG-13 was too much, so they cut that crap too. If you’ve seen Rings and thought that was a mess, well just wait until you see this piece of shit. It’s essentially Rings, even down to shit that’s in the trailers isn’t in the actual movie. AVOID AT ALL COSTS
The Dark – Really interesting concept. Never even heard of this one until it was released on demand. And it ended up being pretty damn good. Zombie girl out in the woods has a run into with a kidnapper, once she kills and eats him, she finds his kidnapping victim, who he blinded. So the two of them run off into the woods together. It’s really worth checking out and might be this year’s hidden gem. SEE IT
The Night Comes for Us – Not exactly a horror film, but about as violent as one. Think John Wick on steroids. It does run into the same issues as The Raid films do, which this is very similar to. A film like this, which is basically just one long extended action sequence should not be a 2 hour long movie. A main issue I had with The Raid. Too long and the action sequences got monotonous. And the thin plot that it does have, was convoluted and nonsensical at times. An issue Raid 2 had. But if you love hyper violent kick ass martial arts, this is the film to see. It’s on Netflix so check it out! SEE IT
Hereditary – I was kind of into it for a bit, I kept telling myself they must be leading up something, so I kept getting strung along. But then it just got really silly. Like Lords of Salem silly. Seeing her zip around on the ceiling was hilarious, the naked people, hilarious, the scene of her cutting her head off, hilarious, seeing the headless body floating around, hilarious, they went for scary but ended up with goofy. You’d also have to pause the film at one point where she reads a book telling you exactly just what was going on. And the main plot points weren’t even highlighted like the rest of the text, so you’d have to read this long paragraph just to fully get what was going on. Grandmother and her cult of friends worship a demon that uses male hosts to get born again. In return he blesses them with riches. But, if you offer him a female body you get struck with bad luck and misfortune. But a lot of that doesn’t answer some things. Like why choose the creepy little girl when they already had a son? Why bother going through all this when he could have been the host in the first place? It all felt like it was leading up to something interesting then fizzled out at the end. Also, the metal Jesus looking statue at the end they were praying to, also hilarious. SKIP
Our House – The only takeaway from this was at least it had a good soundtrack. Besides that, it was pretty lame. Nothing more I can really say about it, it was just boring and lame. SKIP
Adult Babies – I thought it might be weird enough that it might be worth checking out. I was wrong. The main issues for me about this one was the humor. It isn’t funny. It tries really hard to be, but it falls flat. So much so that it was almost pitiful. It does have some okay gore much later on, you just have to suffer a bit to get to it. It also features a very very idiotic plot, featuring British politicians and bigwigs who look like pig hybrids that like to dress up like babies, getting looked after by sexy nurses, who they want to kill afterwards because reasons. It’s pretty awful. SKIP
Killer Kate – This was one I was slightly interested in checking out, the trailer seemed okay to me. But man was I wrong. This felt like a first draft that they decided to just film. It felt like the actors were all told different things about what kind of film they were in, since everyone either acts like they’re in a melodrama or a crime film with shitty wannabe Tarantino dialogue. I haven’t even touched on how fucking awful the ending was. The only thing that kept me slightly interested was finding out why these killers were even targeting these girls. And the big reveal? To besmirch B&B’s so this asshole’s rundown motel will do better. What?! Fuck this movie. SKIP
Dementia 13 – I didn’t care much for the original but I wanted to give this a shot. This is a left over from last horror month that I never got around to. I think subconsciously I knew it wasn’t going to be very good. I felt my interest slipping 10 minutes in. SKIP
