An excerpt from my script review for War Dogs which will be available 8/22/16:

2.) Plot Stability

Better title?

How to be a douchebag Jewish Stereotype.

Unsure how the end product turned out, but this script felt like we saw all the good parts in the trailer.

Very little of the script was the two characters running guns and experiencing hijinks.

Most of it was talking/yelling, hitting on Latinas (or more appropriately their asses), and frequent hits of coke in between.

It felt tired, done by other movies before and better, and I was barely into the first flashback.

On top of that, HALF of the script was spent explaining the background (and in one case a flashback in a flashback).

Combine that fact with a character we really don’t like, and it wasn’t entertaining.

Efraim is an asshole, and you spend 120+ pages getting beat over the head with that idea.

(This is what I envisioned anytime he spoke.)

Instead of giving us one portion of their story, or even condensing multiple flashbacks into the present, the plot got lost in itself.

This was less about gun running, and more a public service announcement about not letting your kids make a fortune and live in Miami.

Remember, this is “based on” so not everything needs to happen in a factually accurate, chronological order.

Want more helpful screenwriting tips and movie/script reviews? Follow this link to our Discussion Forum.

And be sure to check out our Notes Service, where I give my detailed thoughts and suggestions on your script.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here