Hi all. (Does that annoy anyone yet? I wanted to go with “hello, hello” but that’s already taken.)
Here’s the schedule for this week. Walker’s gracing I with another reader review, which we’re always thankful to you folks for as you support what we’re trying to accomplish here.
Then we’re looking at a script from over on Reddit, for a new page we’re trying to help the Feedback Friday guys (and gal) out with.
Then the other two projects are ones that have been hanging around on page 2 of our Read page. Roy and I don’t think the authors are even checking anymore, but we wanted to clear them out nonetheless since we said we would.
We’re also getting low on submissions, so as you cruise around other screenwriting websites feel free to throw that out for other people you’d like to see involved here.
Mob Ties by Matt Hubsher
Logline: An Atlantic City mob collector gets caught up in a deadly scheme and must go into hiding with his spineless brother while following the trail all the way up to the top.
The Kids Are Alright by Lisa Cholodenko & Stuart
Logline: Two children conceived by artificial insemination bring their birth father into their family life.
99 Pages of Zombies by TheKyleShow
Logline: After a series of strange lights are spotted above town, a virus breaks out an a Father must race across town to save his Son and estranged wife.
ORANGE by Joseph Sortland
Logline: A new city planner in Florida, during the housing boom of the 2000s, attempts to solve the murder of his director, but finds himself caught in the cross-hairs of scheming developers, corrupt city hall, and the neighboring town’s deadly football rivalry, while not getting burned by the Sunshine State.
Don’t forget if you’d like us to take a look at your project please follow the directions at the Contact Us page.
Also look for new announcement or discussions over at our screenwriting forum.
(seriously, note this)
it’s been like a month or two since i posted this and i’ve done some revisions…i posted the latest version as a reply to the original read page thread. please read that one instead, it’s fixed up a bit.
it is, however, still too long. sorry.
Sorry about that, but your post here came too late.
Per our Contact Us page:
Due to scheduling and timely reviews, please make sure the draft you submit is the most current you want to have reviewed.
Reason for that is Roy and I can sometimes be a week ahead on reading scripts, or at the very least started two days prior to a review being scheduled. It takes a lot of time to read these scripts and do the detailed script reviews, so we can’t just start from scratch once our time’s been invested.
People are free to post whichever updated version they like, but once you’re in the script links post it’s too late. (As I mentioned in the review, if you’re active in our forum and communicating with us, we’ll know if a revision is coming.)
However, you can still take the review and gauge it against your revision to see what direction you’re headed in. That should be worthwhile, especially if you’re still running long in pages.
This is the author of the “untitled zombie movie” being reviewed on Saturday July 7th. I look forward to your feedback! This is the first feature spec I have written and it’s also the first draft. Looking forward to the constructive feedback for when I begin the second draft.
I know there will be an issue with my Action descriptions being to long. This is something I will certainly be addressing in the 2nd draft along with some other things. Thanks for the read! I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org if anyone would like to discuss the script. I can also be found on twitter @TheKyleShow.
Overall a great rough draft. Review is HERE.