An excerpt from my script review for Master (2022) which will be available 04/03/23:
2.) Plot Stability
We’re going to spend a good chunk of our time in this section.
Was the script creepy and spooky?
Did it have things that horror audiences will enjoy?
My issue here is that all the “creepy” feels disjointed, and it doesn’t really tie together…at least tie together well.
Bug larvae in a drawer.
Bells mysteriously ringing in the Master’s house.
Too many obvious dream sequences to count.
A creepy little “sect” child that Gail and Liv run into at the woods while jogging.
Weird cemetery mourners that show up out of nowhere, and then we never see again.
Jasmine and all the random “Hooded Woman” scenes that we never get confirmed are real or not.
The house maid/slave phantom flashback that Gail sees in a single scene.
So obviously you need these sorts of scenes for your horror script…it’s supposed to be scary.
But they should tie together.
Did this script do this?…Sort of?
I mean, the drawer full of larvae was because of a convenient moth infestation that Gail doesn’t discover until the end of the story.
(Why was her new portrait in the closet?)
And the little girl in the woods? Meant to scare Liv, due to the back story that feels thrown together at the end.
(More on that in the next section.)
The issue with this story, in addition to throwing all the creepiness at us it could, was that it felt more focused on telling some narrative on race and bigotry that never really comes together.
Are people racist? Sure.
Are institutions racist? Yes.
Can institutions be racist unintentionally even when trying to do good things? Probably.
But not all people are bad.
This felt like not one person in the story could view Jasmine, Gail or Liv without somehow pointing out the fact that they’re black.
“Hey, you’re black! Now let me go on with our conversation.”
That was hard to relate to when it felt like everyone was absolutely the most negatively passive aggressive human that they could be, and all the time.
Closing this section out…
You’ve given us a good, creepy setting now just tie all the spooky shit together.
(Give your monster some rules to follow!)
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