An excerpt from my script review for Capone (2020) which will be available 05/18/20:
2.) Plot Stability
Two main concerns here.
First and foremost, I thought this was going to be a “treasure hunt” while Al slips into dementia. We’d be left wondering is it real? Will Al really know where it’s buried? Will these people actually believe him?
What I was hoping for, based on the trailer, was a last ditch effort to find one big score for his family before he dies or is too gone to be of use to anyone.
But the script wasn’t this.
Instead we got a Heart of Darkness style descent, with a scene or two about treasure hunting at the very end.
We’re still left wondering if it existed, but the main point of the story seemed to be this is what happens when you contract syphilis at age fifteen.
Second, I’m absolutely confused how Al made the money to afford this giant estate and lavish life that wouldn’t carry over once he died.
We’re to assume this is post prison for tax evasion, so wouldn’t the federal government be keeping close tabs on he and his income?
Were people in the organization back in Chicago still kicking up to him? If so, why?
And Mae wouldn’t be taken care of after that?
It just felt all too convenient, and if there was a reason, it would have been nice to cover it.
Smaller Things
There were some minor twists that worked out.
The first was Al heading down the hallway with the fire poker, and it turns out he’s chasing the children in his family and playing games.
Next was the family’s reason for celebrating Thanksgiving, in that they didn’t come from much, but now they’re thankful they can afford the luxurious dinner.
I enjoyed the hint dropping of Billy, but wish there’d have been a better payoff aside from just showing up right at the end. By holding off so long, it doesn’t give Mae or Al Jr. anywhere to go with the anger that would be involved.
Al seems to go into fits of dementia rage only for the purpose of creating an interesting scene. My notes refer specifically to when he slaps Mae and calls her a tramp. (Did he forget who she was or trying to impress Johnny?) And when he gets the Tommy gun and mows down most of the estate…and some alligators.
Page 103 – I have zero fucking clue what was going on with Johnny. Was he ever really in Florida? Seems he was, because Mae called him and she wasn’t crazy. But the scene plays out like Al originally had him killed based on the radio drama…
This story could have been better.
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