An excerpt from my script review for Lost River which will be available 5/4/15:
3.) Quality of Characters
Underdeveloped. All of them.
Bones and Billy especially.
Bones comes across as a whiny bitch, who’s afraid of water, but then suddenly isn’t, even free diving ten to twenty feet underwater where he finds a “monster” in the sunken town.
Billy always took the easy way out, and had some issue with the bank manager, who ends up attacking her at the end, for no real reason we’re ever given. Would have been interesting to start her off on her first shift at the Big Bad Wolf, and developed her from there.
Bully. Did I mention there’s a Bully and a Billy? Seriously, I’m not joking.
He went from lighting people’s pants on fire, to burning people alive, best friend included, in houses. Zero to Sixty, with no rational growth in between other than he doesn’t care for Bones.
Already mentioned Rat’s grandma.
And why THE FUCK did Franky always want to play in traffic?
Put a character trait in THIS BIG and then don’t explain it, and you deserve to get a “pass” from ANYONE who reads your script.
But did The Captain agree after watching the film? Here’s a glimpse into his cranium:
Lost River is a dream-like dark fairytale that is fantastically shot and has a wonderful score to accompany it. In other words, I loved it.
When I first heard about the script and read it, instantly I had this image of a Charles Burns graphic novel in my head. He has a way of mixing the ordinary and mundane, then tossing in a monster. Like for his Big Baby detective stories or for his more infamous work Black Hole. Which is a story about a small town in the 70’s, a group of teens and an STD that turns you into grotesque monsters.
Lost River takes place in a Detroit-like dystopia, neighborhoods turned to ghost towns, vacant shops and other buildings. Vacant can also be used to describe the people who have chosen to stay in this nightmare.
Billy is a mother of two, basically the last left living on a neighborhood block being bulldozed around her. She is fighting desperately to stay in her home the bank is repossessing. Why anyone would want to stay in this place is beyond me. I asked the same question when the same thing popped up in Netflix’s Daredevil.
Just leave! Take the damn money and leave this dead city!
Billy is beautiful and most likely a recovering stripper. Which I guess is something you recover from. In the script, Dave, the bank manager had a past with Billy. She being the hot girl that never gave him the time of day in highschool. Which I think is what elevates his obsession with her.
Want more helpful screenwriting tips and movie/script reviews? Follow this link to our Discussion Forum.
And be sure to check out our Notes Service, where I give my detailed thoughts and suggestions on your script.
