The Horror Month fun continues! This week, The Captain watches, maybe so we don’t have to, The Greasy Strangler!!!

The Greasy Strangler isn’t a movie, but an experience.

Bullshit! I call bullshit on that. Bullshit artist!

A better way to describe it is if Tim & Eric made a horror movie. Who are Tim & Eric? If you have to ask, then no way will you like this movie.

They are the pioneers of the world of anti-comedy. This film falls heavily under that category.

What is anti-comedy? It’s the theory that something that isn’t funny is funny. Like the majority of my reviews. Comedians like Eric Andre are also another good example.

This film is written and directed by Jim Hosking. He hasn’t really done much besides this segment from The ABC’s of Death 2 film.

As for the cast… the only actor I recognized was Abdoulaye NGom, who plays a Senegalese Tourist. I remember him from Raising Hope and My Name Is Earl. But that’s about it.

Okay, let’s try to delve into this tub of greasy goodness.

The Greasy Strangler is about Big Ronnie and his son Big Brayden as they run their disco tour. Which for the most part is just Ronnie making shit up about random places around town.

On this tour, Brayden meets Janet. The only girl in this film. Everyone else that might be a lady is just someone in drag. But not convincingly in drag, like they found some of their grandmother’s earrings and decided to put them on.

Besides working for his dad, Brayden also lives with him. I’m not sure if he pays rent, but one of the rules to staying there is you gotta make pop’s food extra greasy. Greasy like that Thanksgiving turkey he made one year.

Ronnie has a bit of an obsession with grease and anything greasy. I bet you think I’m the greasy strangler he mentions every time someone questions his greasy love.

Ronnie isn’t having anything to do with this budding romance between Brayden and Janet. He tries his best to get between them, seducing her with his giant penis. Don’t worry, you get to see it a lot. Looks kind of like a mouse head, he tells her.

Meanwhile, Ronnie is moonlighting as The Greasy Strangler. A man who stalks the streets, his naked body covered in grease.

The Greasy Strangler’s first victims being the tourists who didn’t enjoy their tour. You’d think being greasy would make you a bit hard to hold on to things, but apparently it gives you superpowers, even caving in a face with one punch.

I also really like the montage that happens each time he gets the grease off, running through the carwash his blind friend Big Paul runs.

Brayden and Janet go on a date where he explains why he lives with his dad. His mom left at a young age and ran off with a douche named Ricky Prickles. Brayden hates him because he made him do a bunch of sit-ups that made him vomit. Also, he molested him.

His openness seems to work on Janet and the two have “The Sex”. One thing about Brayden is he has a micro penis. Like the size of a little baby finger.

Threatening to kick Brayden out, Ronnie goes on a date with Janet. He’s a smoothie, Brayden warns her.

Now at this point she seems pretty grossed out by Ronnie and pretty in love with Brayden. So the shit that happens later didn’t really make sense to me.

Eventually she does succumb to Ronnie’s advances, becoming his forever love. She instantly starts dating Ronnie, even after Brayden warns her about his dad possibly being The Greasy Strangler. Even killing his best friend Oinker.

Why is he called Oinker? Because he wears a paper mache pig nose. Why is he wearing this? You find out after he is strangled to death and Ronnie removes it, revealing the fact Oinker doesn’t actually have a nose, the Greasy Strangler shoving his finger deep inside, licking off the mucus.

Brayden has finally had enough, he vowes to get revenge on The Greasy Strangler.

So back to Ronnie and Janet, who love torturing Brayden with their lovemaking. Including long sessions of them yelling tooty frooty disco cutie!

In time, Janet starts to lose interest in Ronnie and goes back to Brayden. Big Ronnie of course doesn’t take kindly to this and kidnaps Janet, taking her to the local theater. Two can play that game and Brayden dunks himself in a tub of grease, running after his father.

Here is where things start to get weird. Yeah, if you thought shit was bizarre before, well, just you wait. Also, spoilers ahead if you have any interest in seeing this, maybe stop reading now.

So greased up Brayden finds a greased up Ronnie strangling Janet. Instead of saving her, he takes turns, strangling her so hard her eyeballs pop out of her head. The greased up duo lean back and bond by feasting on her eyes together.

It wasn’t until then that it struck me that this film was basically A Boy and His Dog. Ronnie being the dog and Janet being the seductress that got between them. Instead of choosing her in the end, they kill and eat her. Oh yeah, spoilers for A Boy and His Dog too I guess.

After that they go on a greasy stranglers killing spree, going after Ricky Prickles in the woods, ripping his ears off.

Then later they run into themselves out in the woods, being filled with holes by a bunch of elderly boy scouts with machineguns. When they die their heads explode and erupt champagne and confetti. Like one does.

And that’s The Greasy Strangler. I rented this on Vudu, a really cool app I found on my PS4. I’m sure if you have a smart TV it’s also available there too. Everywhere else that had this streaming was for $8. I might have been itching to get greasy, but I didn’t want to pay 8 bucks just to rent it.

Thankfully, Vudu had it for only $4. The only downside being you only keep it for like 24 hours. And I really should have been writing some of these lines down as I was watching it.

Like when Brayden was telling Janet about how his dad tried to impress him with a loud fart once, but ended up shooting out a turd that zipped around the room.

I really enjoyed this film and will most likely get it on bluray when it comes out, but in no way will I think anyone else will like it.

I don’t really have anything to compare this to. Maybe a Quentin Dupieux film. The guy that did Rubber and Wrong Cops. Like something maybe he’d do but without all the arty farty or his Frenchiness.

The best I can come up with is if Tim & Eric made a gross out horror film. A lot seem to bring up John Waters, but besides the fact all the other women in this are guys in drag, I didn’t really see the comparison.

Hey, I call bullshit on that.

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